We also had a great conversation about slugs in general.
Often being a parent is awesome.
I would never recommend it to anyone.
My 16yo has never wanted to be a parent. I support that fully.

#SocialMedia

16 and I just spent over 5 minutes watching a slug climb up the glass of the storm door.
We stood and watched.
We didn't know its gender so we named it Fred. Fred is a great name.
16 went to bed.

#SocialMedia

@AskTheDevil

I'm never cruel.
I just get to the point where I have to be honest.
People don't like that.

@AskTheDevil
Generally when I am honest people say I'm mean, because I withhold honesty to preserve the feelings of others.

I Have really comfortable BB-8 pajama pants and you probably don't.

#SocialMedia
#StarWars

Going outside for a final cigarette.
Nope.
Putting my pajamas on while staring vacantly at the television showing something I'm not even interested in right now.
#SocialMedia

@AskTheDevil

Oh I'm going to be totally honest.

There's a whole fcking Ant Man movie on TV that I have seen several times and have no interest in right now.
I wish I felt safe enough to read.
Y'all have no idea what that brain is like.

#SocialMedia

Starting now when trying to go to bed.
1115pm.
Younger son's devices are put away.
He's in bed.
16 is probably fucking around drawing or on Trevorspace and I can't begrudge that during summer.
I try to get ice water and the ice is a chunk. Slam ice on the counter until it separates. Get water from the tap.
Lie on bed waiting for chaos.
Get up and go smoke a final cigarette.
No wait.
Lie down again.
I don't need it.
#SocialMedia

Yes, I do speak to my kid this way.
It works best.

My attention span for books completely tanked, and I was a reading the back of a cereal box person, on Election night of 2016.
I don't think people understand that when people lose themselves in a book they can't absorb outside information, and I have to absorb that information to make sure that we all survive.
I miss books.
I need us to live.
Sorry, books. I miss you.

@Boyceaz

Oh my.

Heh.
Ooooooooo.
Ah nah.
I'm too tired for this shit.

@AskTheDevil @tyghebright

That's about right.

In the 80s a classmate said You have Michael Jackson arms, and I was thrilled. And then he said, "You have monkey arms," and I hit him.
I got sent to the office.

16 was coming apart looking up in the cabinet and I said, "What's wrong?"
"I can't reach the Goldfish Crackers."
Me- "Then let me do it with what were apparently freakish long arms in school but have served me well as an adult even though I often need a goddamn step stool."
My kid- Oh.
Me- "Child if I was going to be made fun of for these arms putting them to use is best. Always come to me. Sometimes we might need the step stool."
My child has beautiful arms.
Thank goodness.
#Parenting

@Gambit_1

Hopefully after the kid stuff tonight I can get up at 7 assuming that I sleep.
I'm going to start as close to midnight as happens.

Tomorrow I am going to try my best to announce everything I do in one single thread.
Because I am that obnoxious twunt.
And Because no one owes you their time here.

#SocialMedia

@lenaoflune

Folks are exhausting.
I haven't played Animal Crossing since May and people are just now getting up at me going, "What's wrong?"
"NOTHING I'm just really tired and can't sit like I said before but HOW ARE YOU?"

@tyghebright
The entitlement is what makes me nope.
No thank you.

@AskTheDevil

As it should be.
I was getting my kids into bed.