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16 was coming apart looking up in the cabinet and I said, "What's wrong?"
"I can't reach the Goldfish Crackers."
Me- "Then let me do it with what were apparently freakish long arms in school but have served me well as an adult even though I often need a goddamn step stool."
My kid- Oh.
Me- "Child if I was going to be made fun of for these arms putting them to use is best. Always come to me. Sometimes we might need the step stool."
My child has beautiful arms.
Thank goodness.

In the 80s a classmate said You have Michael Jackson arms, and I was thrilled. And then he said, "You have monkey arms," and I hit him.
I got sent to the office.

Yes, I do speak to my kid this way.
It works best.

@Shelter Aw! It's nice to see people pass the Snark Torch down...

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