Goodness, it's been a hard day already. Seeing people in constant pain can be tough on the spirit.

My line of reasoning gets stopped cold when I hit things like World War Two, where it absolutley had to be stopped, but I think about how WW2 was caused by WW1, and the desire for revenge worked into the treaty of Versailles.

Conditions have to be ripe for tyrants to rise, and so long as we continue the same patterns, the same results will arise.

And if it saves lives and changes hearts, isnt that better? If the change is more impactful and long lasting isn't that better?

As much as violence seems a quicker solution with our history of wars and what not, we can see the damage of that violence stretching out over generations of damage, not just from those that participated.

Compassion and the endurance of suffering isn't "sexy" nor is it cut and dry. It's a process, like erosion. It's a wearing down and a process of endurance, but it can and does change the world every day.

The willingness to show up and sacrifice for the betterment of one soul can change the whole world.

It's often a hard and costly road. It's what caused Thich Nhat Hanh to be exiled from his country, and it saw MLK Jr and a cadre of protesters beat savagely on Bloody Sunday on a bridge in Selma.

But through their endurance of their suffering, their refusal to rise in hatred and martial violence, did they turn things around

The incident on the Selma bridge led to the passage of civil rights acts. Hanh founded a global network that now includes his home country that is changing the world today

I've noticed lately I've been using King's speech at Wesleyan University on soul force a lot lately.

It's a prescient idea. As I reflect on this, I think it's because we make much in Western culture of the martial idea. The hero valiantly rising to beat down the bad guy.

People that don't fight are often seen as meek, or the support, but there is another way to push against the dark... Compassion.

Service is the path. This is what I am for, but after almost six months of being on, I am looking towards August with the hope of taking time for myself and recovering for a while, seeing to my own routines.

I still need to get Farthest Star out, and get back to writing. My hope is that after this initial week or two of hard recovery, she will settle and improve.

That was always the plan. I hate seeing her suffer knowing there is nothing I can do but provide palliative care.

This has been one of my more intensive "Missions" of the last few years. Every time I think things are going to slow down into a regular routine and flow, errands must be run, or things take a turn.

Her pain has been a monster to manage, and its been a struggle each day.

It's very hard to get consistent time to focus on anything outside of care. I never know how long there is going to be between requests/needs.

This is not a complaint, just me outlining my current reality.

Good morning groovy souls!

I am not heading to the gym this morning. The buddy I'm helping recover is having a terrible time. They haven't slept much at all in the last 2 days because there pain is so high. This is causing their function to degrade.

We have an emergency appointment today at 10 with their pain management specialist, and I'm hoping they'll be able to fall asleep after with some new meds which might let me catch up at the gym

The tree that does not bend, breaks in the wind!

The saying "We do not get to choose our time" has been coming up a lot in my recollection lately.

It's easy to feel powerless in the face of national decrees, and movements, but freedom is something we hold in each of our hearts with every choice we make.

It has been said that dissent is the highest form of patriotism. Dissent, ultimately, is an individual choosing their own path, come what may.

To quote King :

Hello Groovy souls! Good morning!

There's storm clouds out there on the horizon. I am feeling deeply concerned for the future of my country today, but while I hear the thunder, the storm may still yet miss us.

I am resolved to do what I can, and face the future with mindfulness and compassion.

The dawn always comes. Despair is a trap.

This city was the capitol of the Confederate States of America during the Civil War, and today is one of the most liberal and progressive cities in Virginia.

Times change, as cities do, because of the people and the choices they make with their lives.

It's truly miraculous when you think about it. Anything is truly possible. I am certain there was a time when people thought Richmond would always be what it was, but change begins with every choice and every breath.

Good afternoon groovy souls! It was a very busy morning! I went out for a hike on the James river with a local group of folks, Attended my Sangha virtually before that, and after went grocery shopping.

Now I'm letting my tofu cool that will be my staple protein the next few days and resting a bit.

Full days are good days. Richmond is dryer vent hot, but its a lovely city.

I worry about the drivers through. They seem to be very angry and deeply rushed.

I'm a tired beast. I'm glad tomorrow is my light day. I've still got stuff in the morning, and grocery shopping but it should be a pretty chill day.

Good afternoon groovy souls!

Today has been busier but not so bad. I ran recycling, did my 2 hours at the gym, and covered about 8.25 miles of distance between the treadmill and eliptical. Weights went well and it feels good to be back to it.

Even got a chance to talk to my parents. They are worried about me being potentially exposed to liability by helping the people that I do.

Translation: They care and they love me.

All is good! I hope you're each having Saturday Fun days out there!

Today. I actually had time do something other than go. I was going to sit down and work but I ended up just kind of vegging out.

I fell asleep on the couch for half an hour.

I think that's good?

Rocking it ! Day 5 of 6 ! I love being back at a gym!

#run #workout

Good morning groovy souls!

Time to get on the bounce and out to the gym. It's a beautiful Friyay full of possibilities for joy, wonder and discovery!

Be excellent to one another, and please be excellent to yourselves. You are each beautiful and sacred!

Let's do this!