I have realized that I am afraid to sleep because due to the losses in my life I'm convinced that I won't wake up.
Everyone I loved died in or on bed.
That's some shit I have to handle.

#grief
#Insomnia

@Shelter two hours last night and probably similar tonight. You going to be alright, caregiving etc?

@Coffee_and_Salt
I will sleep as much as my brain lets me.
My kids will fucking deal.

@Shelter But mom. @Coffee_and_Salt

@MrGoat @Coffee_and_Salt

You have NO idea.

@Shelter Oh I do, it's why I never had children. @Coffee_and_Salt

@MrGoat @Coffee_and_Salt

But I will get up and do the shit.

But the sarcastic But, mom?

I will destroy you.

@Shelter Sorry I wasn't listening, but mom I'm not tired.
@Coffee_and_Salt

@MrGoat @Coffee_and_Salt
Cool.
Read a book.

@Shelter but mom I like when you read to me. @Coffee_and_Salt

@MrGoat @Coffee_and_Salt
Tonight is not the night for this.
To you, specifically, with this.
Please do not.

@Shelter Here I am getting in trouble on the internet. I hope your kids don't bug you too much honestly. @Coffee_and_Salt

@MrGoat @Coffee_and_Salt

You're not getting in trouble.
You're just not seeing the shit that was posted before.
I'm not going to be a parent that anyone expects me to be in any fashion.

@Shelter oh well in that case, be the parent you are. @Coffee_and_Salt

@MrGoat @Coffee_and_Salt

Let's talk.
I'm not kidding.
Why are you doing whatever this is?
I'm not angry nor offended.
I simply don't understand what you're trying to say.
I'd like very much to understand.
I don't understand other people very much, most of the time.

@Shelter In all fairness I was just being a smartass. No harm meant.. @Coffee_and_Salt

@MrGoat @Coffee_and_Salt
Okay.
I am autistic.
Everything is literal to me unless I have a prior, long relationship with a person where we can interact in a different fashion.
I don't understand why people on the internet think they can be this way with people they don't know well.
It's harmful.
It's not comfortable.

@Shelter I feel it's okay to be myself on the internet.

That aside. I'll refrain from sarcastic remarks towards you . =) Not here to make you angry. //@Coffee_and_Salt

@MrGoat
Not angry.
Confused.

I don't think y'all get it.
I'm not angry at all.
I'm perplexed.
I'm trying to figure out why this turned into that.
It is confusing AF.

@Shelter if it helps you - it's not important. at all. any of what I said.