And "decent at best" but still alive and able to keep trying is better than the alternative, so that's okay.

But sometimes I definitely need to sit with my mediocrity awhile, and let the work wash over me (today, more admin tasks & reading, plus hopefully that overdue free Patreon) until I can figure out what direction to take next.

Melancholy Sunday! Going for a walk before the next round of screentime, but again--I have had more chances than most, so I'm not complaining.

Just regrouping. 👍🏻

It's been a heck of a few years eh?

I remember when I thought I had a shot at investment - an agent and a new writing gig - only for the web venture to collapse due to poor corporate culture, and the agent to pass on taking three books to market, after the first failed.

I know some folks assume a lot about me from... my photo, I guess?

But as much as I put my work out in the hope of a connection, I a) routinely feel like a failure, & b) know I'm only decent at best in a sea of many better. /x

I was on Cold Turkey for a bit, so I couldn't post Chapters 9 & 10 here when they went live, but Chapters 11 & 12 are now up for Patrons following A FERTILE SOURCE OF RUIN, my wartime space opera inspired by Thucydides.

Each post includes some historical reflection (and an Easter egg, today!), along with a summary of the story to date. Enjoy, if you do!

(Free-to-read Patreon post soon.)

#SFF #AFSR #Reading #Novel #WritingCommunity
https://www.patreon.com/posts/fertile-source-110755205

@joycereynoldsward @QueenOfEverything

What floored me yesterday was that it touched on many things I wanted to say in my series (right down to being inspired in part by Spartan history), but even though my story is different, this one is flat-out better written.

No two ways about it.

And I'm okay with realizing how inadequate my writing is--and why I have no chance of selling my book in this market. I will survive.

I just had to marvel at what a difference in calibre exists.

Kudos to Tesh!

#Books #SFF #ScienceFiction

@joycereynoldsward and @QueenOfEverything asked about this yesterday, but I was still too gobsmacked to reply.

I'm reading for a Le Guin shortlist book review, so I'll be covering this one in a different light soon, but...

This story rightfully won the Hugo this year. It is intelligent, engagingly paced, unflinching around difficult themes, and deeply wise in its presentation of an indoctrinated militant realizing she's coveted the wrong things her whole life.

"Research" for Monday's newsletter complete, but apparently Civ VII is out next Feb, so... we shall see how life finds me next year.

Back to readin' and writin', and then I have some slush to read for one mag, plus an admin email to send to my volunteers.

Gosh, I haven't gamed in forever.

But these days my life contains storytelling of a different sort, so every kind of art has its season in our lives, eh?

#AmWriting
#AmReading
#AmEditing
#AmAllTheThingsing

Hope the evening is good to you!

😭 OH MY GOSH. AND I FORGOT THAT LEONARD NIMOY NARRATED THE KNOWLEDGE TREE PARTS.

HELLO SPOCK. I MISSED YOU, TOO.

😅 Just put on a game I haven't played in years, but which comes from a franchise that *ruled* my childhood. The theme song immediately brought tears to my eyes. Ah memories.

I didn't know for a few years that this is the Lord's Prayer in Swahili, but the humanist in me was highly amused.

As I wrote today, every religion has its extremists--and every religion has people trying to carry forward the best from some truly awful canon.

We can all make beauty from the ruins.
https://youtu.be/IJiHDmyhE1A

All right! My time-shifted week has finally come to an end. Today, for paid subscribers, we reflect on the tension between #democracy and nationalist projects, and the challenges for maintaining democracy even locally when statist rhetoric reigns on the world stage.

The free-to-read section involves a follow-up to Tuesday's post on ceasefire propaganda, by looking at how one politician in particular served his war effort well by undermining trust in global institutions.

https://open.substack.com/pub/mlclark/p/is-full-democracy-ever-feasible

Sometimes I set down a problem so big there's just no solving it - and then the trick is figuring out how to end the essay so that the closer doesn't feel painfully naive next to the scope of the issue.

In other words: this week's deep dive newsletter is almost ready, but my ending feels like frivolous copium, so I'm going for a wee pace before I post. 🙃

Next week, I'm choosing simpler problems to discuss--like who stole the cookies from the cookie jar, and would they like more cookies now? 🤔

And one more for the flower set: the flor de flamboyán, acacia roja, or arból de fuego - delonix regia. #Nature #Colombia

Coming back from a run and heading toward the dawn, as mediated through a mess of human progress.

Morning, dear fellow rotters!

Finished a book this morning that was such a treat, and in a *good way* left me feeling like my writing isn't good enough. It's not an envy thing. It's the glow from reading someone tell their story so well, it stirs a desire to do better oneself. I can't wait 'til my next fiction-writing window.

#WritingCommunity #WritersOfCoSo

@stueytheround

(This morning, I'm finishing another book on my list for a paid review. Reading without a full mug on hand feels odd, somehow, though. 🤔)

@stueytheround kindly let me keep my #CaffeineClub membership card despite the fact that I'm off the stuff, so I can live vicariously through your cuppas. ☕

What's everyone else slurping today? 👀

🙃 I used to have this disease.

Now I have the disease where I try to present appropriate data and POVs, knowing full well that most people are in no emotional position to accept anything that threatens a pre-existing worldview--but also that there are other people despairing over how little facts seem to matter to most; and that they seem to despair a bit less when they know they're not alone.

So, I present arguments for them.

I call it "pragmatic futility", & I'm definitely in a late stage.