๐ I went *one day* without Someone-Is-Wrong-on-the-Internet-ing it. FFS.
But I popped on because have a question for you folks. A friend was in a terrible accident. Cane sugar processing machine caught her arm. She didn't lose it, but it's bad, and she's quite poor. She's been recovering at home.
Tomorrow I'm visiting with the biggest bag of rice I can carry, & panela & powdered milk. But for folks who've been laid up, is there a comfort item (medical, cosmetic) that made a difference for you?
the number one thing people forget is Lanolin based skin cream.
I was really hoping someone would suggest a skin cream! Thank you!
@MLClark Books always help me the most. Theyre the best distraction for me.
Beautiful! This person has low literacy, but I wholeheartedly agree that reading is a gift. :)
@MLClark @shadow_queene Audio books?
For the very poor in Colombia, internet is essentially for Facebook and WhatsApp, so we're not talking a home with a computer, or people with emails, or any of the surrounding digital literacy to make audio books easy to introduce.
It's an extremely humble home I'll be visiting tomorrow: painted concrete, corrugated metal roof, hot plate.
(But what an education: I gain a great deal of gratitude and perspective after sitting with people living such lives!)
@MLClark @shadow_queene Burn CDs and get her a cheap portable disk player? #ImTryingTooHardIllStop
๐คฃ It took me a while to get out of my Western mode of problem-solving, too! I appreciate the smile in hard times. ๐ค
@MLClark Maybe some movies, then? Distraction is the most important thing, in my experience.
@MLClark Disregard. I just saw your other reply and now realize that won't work, either.
But something distracting, if possible. Even just sitting and telling stories could help a lot. Keep her mind off of it.
She is a very religious lady, so in her case a few material prayer items might not be out of the question! Good thought on keeping her distracted, thank you!
@MLClark A lot of recovery is just a waiting game. The time is going to pass either way, but it's easier to get through it if you're thinking about something other than how bad you feel and all the things you can't do
@MLClark it sounds silly perhaps but making sure necessities are in the house is important. Just this week I had to go to the hospital. When I got back my daughter wasnโt here and I really didnโt want to have to call friends to go pick up soap and TP. Iโd say ask her if thereโs anything she needs (first aid supplies, household and personal essentials, water, etc) or of she is able to have delivered that doesnโt cost three timeโs what it would if she were able to pick it up herself.
@MLClark sorry about the typos. Iโm on my phone.
No, these were great suggestions! I talked with the husband today: he's the one who told me rice, panela, and powdered milk. But I know Adriana is a loving, effervescent granny, so I'm sure it's driving her nuts not to be able to be out in the world right now.
(Medical supplies might not be something they have the budget to replace effectively - really good idea!)
@MLClark hope she will heal quickly and be back up and around. Itโs great that youโre helping her out <3
๐ It's so nice to have you back.
So sorry about your friend. That sounds horrible. ๐
Besides those necessary foodstuffs and you being there for her? Anything that will make domestic life easier? A pre-prepared food? I don't know what's available/possible there.
๐ซ We have to be present if we want things to change, right? Sorry for skittering out on a rough day.
It's so tricky when going among the cash poor. You don't want to bring something that's too extravagant; they'll see only all the basic foodstuffs that could have been bought with the money instead.
It'll be an experience tomorrow, either way!
@MLClark ๐ค
Yes, I get it. It sounds you're doing everything you can. It's always hard to see someone in that much pain and know there's only so much you can do, but those necessaries will be practical and reinforce the message that she's not alone.
@MLClark Oh my gosh, i'm so sorry for your friend! ๐ข I've never been seriously ill (well not like her at least) but all i can think of is that when people here are sick or grieving, a meal is made for them. That, or offering to do some stuff for her that she might find difficult to do right now (cleaning, washing, etc.).
Acts of service are wonderful. ๐ค I will see what's possible when I get there. The poor sometimes live in *very* dingy conditions, and I don't want her to feel ashamed for the state of things when I arrive. It will be a delicate balancing act for sure!
@MLClark You're a good friend. Just making this post and thinking about what she might need is incredibly thoughtful, and i hope she's willing to take help so she has a better chance of getting the best results for the degree of injury her arm has.
@MLClark honestly like audiobooks or entertainment of choice.
@MLClark or something super soft and cozy
Oooooo! I like this.
i love beans thoughts, itโs also just that you are doing that thatโs so nice โฅ๏ธ @Armchaircouch @MLClark ha I agree ๐ฏ Iโm just a straight to the answer kinda gal these hot days ๐
@Armchaircouch @MLClark hah o just remember when dad was sick and one of his caregivers gave him a super soft plushie and won the gift competition (that wasnโt) by a mile.
Dad loved that thing.
@MLClark All I'm coming up with is your friendship and just being there for her. I'm sorry that I'm not much good in coming up with what you are requesting, it's somewhat out of my expertise.
I know when I've been hospitalized or laid up just having someone sit with me for awhile always lifted my spirits.
Best of luck to her for a good outcome and recovery.๐โฎ
@MLClark
If she lives alone, regular visits to help with basic chores she'd normally do for herself, like food prep or washing pots and pans.
Even to simply make her a cup of tea or coffee so she doesn't have to struggle with it *every* time.
"a cup of tea" ๐
It suddenly occurred to me that, just as Lysol was the cure-all in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, there is *nothing* that can't be fixed with a nice cuppa for Brits, no? ๐
You've got my number on follow-up visits! Thanks, Stuey. ๐ค
@MLClark Tea fixes almost everything in Britain, unless it's *really* serious. That's when you need tea and *cake* ๐
I'm a coffee drinker and I still know this is true!
I need a British TV show about an emergency response force that just shows up with tea and cake STAT. ๐คฃ
@MLClark
Now this may be off base, not really โcomfort,โ but how about staples that otherwise she would have to run out and buy, like toilet paper, soap, (do people use paper towels there?), fem items, shampoo, aspirin?
Not off base at all, though since she's an Afrocolombian granny I'm not going to risk the wrong hair product, and fem items aren't necessary. But you're absolutely right that the husband's list of household needs (rice, panela, powdered milk) was never going to include everything actually key to making recovery easier. Cheers, GC!
@MLClark
If she has a washing machine, put a couple loads through and sit with her as you fold it and hang it and put it away.
Same with prepping and cooking a meal according to her instructions while you talk.
Set up your camera to record her as you interview her about her life. It will be precious to her children and grandchildren years from now.
@MLClark you mentioned that Adriana has a deep faith, so something like a holding cross might be appropriate. My Granny found them a great comfort during her arthritis flare ups.
@MLClark back in July you were preparing a care package for someone in your community.
how is Adriana and her family now?
I visited again on Wednesday. She's healing up nicely! The family is always in need of money to cover basic expenses, but she's regaining full use of her arm and hand, step by step, which is a great relief to all. Thanks for asking! ๐ค
@MLClark Comfort items tend to be individualistic ... If there's any way we can contribute financially to help cover her medical expenses, please let us know.
Big fluffy pillows. They can help her prop herself up or change the angle she's laying, or go under a tired arm... Folks I've known who have had all kinds of surgeries have loved having some big pillows.
@tyghebright Can confirm. I took my pillow to the hospital, and my pillow is one of my necessities during recovery.
If Iโm being honest, my pillow is one of my favorite things in life. And itโs not an expensive, exotic pillow. Just a decent one that is comfy.
@MLClark
@MLClark A good pillow?
@MLClark oh geez! Not sure this answer helps, but for me it was ice cream when shit was bad.