Yesterday, I was a little down because a person I've known for 20 years just will not stop raising transphobic public figures in our correspondence. He's a classic both-sides-ing "centrist", confident that he's simply seeing the "bigger" equivalences in violence at work, and... I don't know why I've tried for as long as I have. Ego maybe? Most every fellow I knew in KW was like him: someone who'd rather pull you into debate to shelter their own prejudice than push beyond the prejudice itself. /x
@MLClark I ended up dumping a long distanced partner because I couldn't take him dragging up LGBTQ politics every time we talked. Three years right down the drain.
@PaganMother UGH. The biggest of exhausted hugs to you. That was an important choice for self-care. I am ridiculously internet-stranger-proud of you for putting your well-being first!
You capture eloquently the vicissitudes of a relationship that that has expired and in which you are giving the person more spiritual grace than they are due.
I've been there. I empathize. I'm here for you.
@Bliss Thank you, Bliss_Ville. You've put it quite succinctly, and my heart is lighter for the affirmation that I'm by no means the first to walk these shores. Happiest of Mondays, you.
@MLClark
May your week be as light as your spirit 😊
@MLClark I’m trying to find ways to reach those folks in my life. I fully support your action - I get the difficult balance it is. I’m focusing my energy on the folks I can have the conversation with. I’m quite concerned to leave them in their echo chamber. Moreincommon.com has a lot of interesting perspectives on this challenge of polarization. My heart is with you and your friend. It’s so painful to have to choose separation.
@Aicila Leaving them in their info silo is indeed the concern; this one moves around more extremist folks, & yet... there's socioeconomic precarity afoot as well. These factors run together (e.g. "temporarily embarrassed millionaires"). I have a tankie in my family who recently declared bankruptcy; their extremist politics is a ledge they hold to for a sense of worth they can't find elsewhere. But I have so much writing to do for broader audiences; the one-on-one rebuttals consume too much time.
@Aicila (And energy, and emotional stability. Thank you for your kind words! I hope this message is finding you at the start of a better week as well.)
@MLClark thank you. & we can’t do everything so we have to pick what we can do. Hopefully all together it will be enough to make a difference. & if not, at least I like the folks I’m chilling with :)
@MLClark yep. I ended up cutting ties with a dear friend back around then because she was just horrible about Obama. In retrospect, those trends existed even before then, but...yeah, it was pretty awful. And she had been out of the US for some years previous, in Ecuador.
@joycereynoldsward You've pointed to a key issue, Joyce. Some behaviours were *emboldened* by public, political sanction - but that doesn't mean they weren't with us, and with those people, all along. What a heartbreak. I'm glad you knew what was best for you to do. I'm sorry for the disappointment in another person it entailed.
@MLClark the sad thing? They identified as a Trotskyite. Granted, by then I was already very cautious about the far left for other reasons, but...
@MLClark I feel you on this…trying to spread Love and inclusivity…not wanting to ever silence your voice of support…it’s an uphill battle with people like him. Thank you for trying💪🏻💫 It is a huge energy drain and leaves me in a funk too. You CARE. 🥰
@LPH6 You do too, Lisa. 💛 May our world of caring one day win out.
@MLClark I have great HOPES and you clearly do too🙌🏻
@MLClark Time to cut the cord with such toxic ppl✂️
Most feminized folk will also remember that, around 2016, we started to see this behaviour show up in a BIG way among many people in our lives - folks we kind of thought shared our values, more or less, until we saw the attitudes emboldened during a presidential run.
I think I've stuck with this attempt to get through to this person for so long *because* he's such an embodiment of so many I used to be around all the time. But such emails only steal my joy. I know what what needs to be done.