Yesterday, I was a little down because a person I've known for 20 years just will not stop raising transphobic public figures in our correspondence. He's a classic both-sides-ing "centrist", confident that he's simply seeing the "bigger" equivalences in violence at work, and... I don't know why I've tried for as long as I have. Ego maybe? Most every fellow I knew in KW was like him: someone who'd rather pull you into debate to shelter their own prejudice than push beyond the prejudice itself. /x
Most feminized folk will also remember that, around 2016, we started to see this behaviour show up in a BIG way among many people in our lives - folks we kind of thought shared our values, more or less, until we saw the attitudes emboldened during a presidential run.
I think I've stuck with this attempt to get through to this person for so long *because* he's such an embodiment of so many I used to be around all the time. But such emails only steal my joy. I know what what needs to be done.
You capture eloquently the vicissitudes of a relationship that that has expired and in which you are giving the person more spiritual grace than they are due.
I've been there. I empathize. I'm here for you.