Stuff ppl with #depression hate hearing: "Have you tried <insert treatment here>?"

Actually this one isn't so bad, because it comes from a place of wanting to help. Somebody asking this might offer an ineffective suggestion, but at least they're not trying to be a dick.

Now if I could just positively think away the sleep disturbances, weight issues, constant body pains, loss of executive function, & general low-level apathy about pretty much everything.

Stuff ppl with #depression hate hearing: "Have you tried thinking positively?"

OH MY GOD I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT, THANKS SO MUCH ASSHOLE MY MENTAL ILLNESS IS CURED.

Okay, motherfucker, what am I SUPPOSED to look like, then? You got some idea of what #depression LOOKS like, that we're supposed to adhere to so you know about it? Is there a uniform or something?

Stuff ppl with #depression hate hearing: "Well, you don't *look* depressed."

But it isn't imaginary. & it isn't a moral failure or a failure of *will*.

Believe me, if I could *will* myself out of not having enough serotonin, I fucking would.

Turns out mental illness *is* "all in your head", because it's in your BRAIN, which for most of us is in our head.

I'm in the US. Mental health care here is absolutely abysmal. Right now I'm also sharply aware of the whole cultural attitude towards mental health here in the US. Which is just fucking shameful. For a long time we've thought here that mental health isn't really real, that it's "all in your head", in the sense that we're imagining it, or that being mentally ill is a moral failure.

One of the worst things about it is how invisible it is. You can't look at someone & know if they have #depression or not, partly because it manifests differently for everyone, & ppl who have it can get reeeeallly great at hiding that we do. I'm sharply aware that ppl don't understand the disease & really don't want to hear about it.

#depression sucks.

Starting the hunt for a therapist again. I'd rather eat glass, frankly.

I dunno who invented pesto, but she was feckin' brilliant.

Tarrio's 22-year sentence is giving me life right now.

@misslovelymess Woooo!! Go you, tell that shame & walk all over it!

No point to all this, just thinking out uh... loud. Sort of. Firehosing out loud.

@TwiHusband True that. Strange thing is, my dad *does* live with her, & even he doesn't really quite get it. I have the same kind of convos w/him too, & he's there 24/7.

It's weird to me to tell him repeatedly that mom's basically like a toddler, & he'll acknowledge that, but then doesn't really recognize the behaviors - they befuddle him. It's so weird.

What we think of as *will* is an aspect of executive function, & it's reeeeeeallly easy to fuck up someone's exec. function.

I mean, try not sleeping for several days, that'll do it too.

It's easy to forget, or maybe not ever really become aware of the fact that if you change your brain, your mind & behavior change.

Like if you use some sort of drug, or throw too much or not enough glucose in there, o r get drunk, or take a prescription Rx, or have a brain injury, or go thru therapy - these all change your *brain*.

& really, I think most ppl aren't that great at separating mind & behavior from intentional will.

Like the will to do something. I'm in the US & there's very much this cultural & social belief that when people do things, it's always on purpose, always with some kind of intent (often nefarious), & that you can do anything thru sheer force of will.

It's worst with my dad, who I suspect is simply too close to the situation. I mean my mom is his *wife* of 55 years, it's like they're not going to see the forest for the trees, when it comes to each other.

Plus my mom's trees are scrambled now, so there's that.