Gotta take Hubs to Dr later. Hopefully hernia's ok & won't need further draining w/big needle! Last visit, Dr said he'd wait & see, so,🤞; it's a very painful procedure for him. He was almost in tears last time done, & I had to hold him like he was a lil kid & calm him. Ugh He's healing well though & moving around as much as possible; even walked out dogs a few times; give him pain meds after, but he's moving around & that makes me happy!💃He was bedridden /helpless a long time. Wore me out lol

Good Morn!☕ Ended up doing a vid call w/Sis/cuz's Mom; will see her at vigil tonight. Location moved because another shot in city, so apt complex manager sent email to all tenants & threatened to evict anyone who lived there & attended 🤬WTF?! Moved to park.

Sis/I THINK it's because they felt too many upset Black folks would be in area & they didn't wanna risk trouble. Thing is, he knew more White than us; heck, half our fam's White too! Ugh Profiling

Happy Black History Month?🤷‍♀️

Went to drugstore today. Cashier knew him. Talked to neighbor's son today, he did too. Another neighbor's fam knew him. There's nowhere I've been in the last couple of days that someone didn't know him in some way. He always had a smile on his face or kidded around with all he met.

Holding it in so far; got stuff going on w/Hubs' recovery(Dr tmrw!) & w/keeping his mind right; gotta keep strong for him too. I know gotta take care of me too, & am, for most part. But, all I see is his smile, gone😢

Waiting for lil Sis to get off work to go see cuz's Mom. I sorta dread it; no words'll ease her pain.

Was gonna go to a candlelight vigil tmrw eve. Another young person shot last night, so it had to be moved! No one wants to be in a crowd or in public here; it's so bad our new Police Chief had to address it on his 1st day! Ugh

Fam is trying to get funds up; I posted on🐦if ya wanna read tribute his Coach put up💔Cuz was on the local baseball team & had lots of love

Keep🙏for us; it's so hard

As if not frazzled enough, gotta listen to neighbors arguing for going on 2 hours! Listening to scanner & hearing all kinds of not so good stuff happening that will never make the news.

Sadly, I woke yesterday to hear calls for more personnel to do CPR on someone. At the time, didn't know it was my Cousin they were trying to save. My husband & I heard them pronounce him gone.

I cannot unhear what I heard. Frantic calls after finding 40 shelI casings. 2 connected scenes & 2 others critical

Although there've been many shootings in our city, 8 deaths to date, 2 stand out the most to me. One, because it's personal, another because it rocked our entire city; a 12yr old girl at a park, watching a fight, was also an innocent bystander.

Kids don't just need to put the guns down, they need to not have them in the 1st place.

I wish someone knew how to solve this problem. We just hired a new Police Chief; I pray he knows some answers. Hubs/I are afraid to go out because of kids

Having to see one that ya grew up in the same house with as a kid, for a long time, ya got into trouble with, ya shared laughs with, shared secrets with, went to Church with, slept in the same bed with, along with our other cousins, when we spent the night at our Grandma's, who ya shared in the joy of having our kids with; your family, your cousin who's more of a Sister to you, on TV talking about losing the grown son that you held as a baby...just, hurts deep down. 4 kids Daddy won't come home

Numbness. Breathing deeply and thinking is all I've accomplished today. Warm day out; gonna go outside to feel the sun, to breathe it all in.

I've told myself that for the last 3 hours. Be back later on sometime

Good Morn☕ Feeling a void; really unsure how to feel. Have seen/heard so many bad things in our city & all over the country, that I'm feeling numb to what hit our fam ystrdy. People are somewhat afraid to be out in public. Every fam member I spoke with still in shock, to say the least. Holding in the tears for now. Dreading going to visit the Mama, but knowing I gotta go support her in her greatest time of need. Can't wrap my head around the fact that there's one less joyful soul in our fam. Ugh

Younger me Dragon would be in the streets getting info & rounding up the NY crew💪🏽😶Now I know better. I can still imagine it tho. Not gonna lie on a Sunday; the anger keeps bubblin. I just know how to keep it in check now. MOST of the time. I pray our crazy fam does too! YoungR ones getting riled up as the day goes on. Mostly all too shocked to react. HopeN they stay peaceful. Will see Cuz's Mom this week; that's when it'll hit me hard.

Anywho, cloudy semi-rainy day here. Perfect weather.

#prayerrequest for any affected by ANY violence: We gotta stand strong even though it takes every fiber of our being. We won't let emotions take over all sane thinking. We must believe we'll have more good days where only the best memories surface, as well as days that they won't. We must understand that life's unfair; it's ok to not understand it all. We must remember to breathe in, goodness is still there. WILL it in! Remember we're not alone, just reach out; someone hears. Let it out. Hugs

My adult kids keep up w/the beefs: *Lil Cuz in wrong place when fight👊then shots. Retaliations for others in last few days. At a drive thru, on a highway. Will be more retaliation😟He's not a model... wasn't😢a model..kid, but made many good changes in his young life. He still liked to go clubbing; for wanting to go out to chill/party/have fun, he paid bcuz of someone else's beef? Told he had no part in it. Just there.

Mood: 🧠🤔'😲Not true!'😵🤷‍♀️

👂on scanner. CPR too. Didn't know who. Ok but shocked

Aimlessly walking around drug store. Gotta get Hub's meds.

Gun violence is affecting me/family today. A younger cousin was shot to death. Just why.

Back later or later than that. No real details yet; under investigation. News no mention of him yet, but of others injured. Family all over country being notified still.😶

I don't feel it yet; too many unknowns. Hubs gave me a big ol' hug. I know you all will send too, so thanks.

Gotta go

Good Afternoon Folks! Just popping in real quick to say hi & wish ya a Happy #caturday . Back outside I go! Check ya later😘

Ugh; quiet spell's over. Dogs & Hubs waking up. They act like I can't sit alone in kitchen at night &🤔quietly, use laptop, etc.; I'm mad or sad if I'm not near/being quiet. I'm just at my best when left alone awhile, not feeling anyway but just, being! Was like that when working; would tell bosses leave me alone. I could solve things, produce more, care more, clean better, weld better, write better, pack better, stock better, drive better...🤔dang I've had a lot of jobs🤣 👀; it's past midnight?