Scrolling through photos of last nights black tie event, all I could think was, “Damn, my wife looks amazing!” 🥰

At least the wife looks good. 😊

Who’s the old guy in the tuxedo?

Oh wait… that’s a selfie. 🤨

So today I learned that there’s a Barbie soda.

My knee just cracked so loud that I half expected it to glow in the dark.

I think the past week has gone well for America and I am cautiously optimistic looking ahead to November.

#GoodMorning
#CaffeineClub

Froot Loops bagels? What the…? 🧐 🥯

No TV today, email is all read, website is updated. Can I go back to bed now?

#GoodMorning
#CaffeineClub

Today's random question: What's the longest drive you've ever made?

#QuestionOfTheDay

I'm not used to doing television on Wednesdays.

(one of the many things I'd never thought I'd ever say when I was a kid)

#GoodMorning
#CaffeineClub

I just sneezed eight times in a row and I think I saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.

Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc. As in, I don't give eeffoc until I've had my morning coffee.

(so reads the mug I just bought my wife) 😎

#GoodMorning
#CaffeineClub
#Coffee

A recent business article noted there are now more than 1,000 billionaires in the world. And yet, not a single one of them has become Batman. Very disappointed in the whole lot.

Barista: "How much cream would you like with your coffee?"

Me: "All of it."

Barista: "All?"

Me: "All."

#GoodMorning
#CaffeineClub
#Coffee

It’s mid-August, which means one thing: it’s almost Pumpkin Spice season. 😳

Just got an email from my boss: I'm getting an assistant, a new office (for when I want to come in to the building), and they've added to my TV schedule (now 3 days a week instead of 2).

I must be doing something right...

You know you're getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.

Instead of complaining about it being too early, or too hot, or too humid, or going on about my various aches and pains, I decided today I'd be positive and helpful.

I'm sure I'll get over it soon, but in the meantime, here's a handy graphic for you coffee lovers.

You're welcome.

#GoodMorning
#CaffeineClub
#Coffee

I've often wondered what horrible disease the guy from the Operation game had that required so much surgery.

Philosopher: "How would you define happiness?"

Me: "Coffee."

Philosopher: "Can you be more specific?"

Me: "Sure. Espresso."

#GoodMorning
#CaffeineClub