@AskTheDevil 😂 I'm already floundering

@TheresaVermont Those are good options, but 20 years from now?

@TheresaVermont Only so many options available, but duly noted.

And so it begins...
[where's the swastika emoji when you need it?]

:(

@HawkHorton You sick bastard! lol

@HawkHorton dogshit lol

The very best of MAGA is still the dregs of humanity.

lowercase saw Trump coming a long time ago.

Whoa! Magic is real!
I put on a MAGA hat and suddenly found myself looking at my neighbours cat like it was smothered in sos!

@singlemaltgirl God bless the woody! ha ha ha!!!

@Lucky188 He's been a politician for so long that he's forgotten why he wanted to be one.

"He loves me,
He loves me snot."

- Snailspeare, King Smear.

"On the first day, God mainlined an espresso and took a big shit."
Things went downhill after that...

They say controversial tweets get the most attention, so here goes:

I simultaneously hugged a pine and a spruce, it was my first treesome.

@Horrrflmlvr Too bad, it's the sheet! Ahem, the shit!

The guy said he could sell me some sole at a reduced price AND he might even be able to get me some fresh halibut! I just needed to provide some personal details and credit card info. I decided to go for it. Sadly, it turns out I was the target of a phishing scam!

The way things are going, Heaven is going to demand two-factor authentication.

@hallmarc I appreciate the offer. Perhaps we can, bit by bit. I've always been a history buff and abhor racism, be it antisemitism, islamophobia, or otherwise.

@Horrrflmlvr You should see my folding laundry!