Okay.
#TwoTruthsOneLie
I got drunk with Alison Moyet
I fell over Darryl Hall's boot
I sold VHS movies to Tom Kiefer
Choose the lie.
@Shelter and I was wrong. Don't know why but Hall's boot seemed a feasible answer at the time.
@Coffee_and_Salt
Because I am clumsy AF.
@Shelter i mean, i wasn't gonna say it all out loud like that.
@Shelter also, because memes, all further usage of AF means "AS FORETOLD," in all caps, just like that.
This is probably true in my case.
@Coffee_and_Salt years ago I saw 16 get on the arm of the sofa, look at an empty box in front of the sofa, get down, move the box closer, get back on the arm, and I yelled, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
"WHAT??"
"You're planning to jump into the box to slide across the floor, but it won't work. You'll tip backwards and slam your head into the floor."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I used to do that same shit!"
"Oh."
@Coffee_and_Salt
Remember the Hoppity Horse?
I bounced down cement front steps on one and landed on my head.
@Coffee_and_Salt
When I was 2 I leaned against the porch railing and the slats busted apart and I fell straight into a firethorn bush.
@Shelter oh the cringe of pain!
I should get that on a shirt.
@Shelter friend of mine has one that says "all gas, no brakes." kinda getting a similar feel here.
@Shelter can't go through the house in the dark with this kind of energy though...
@Coffee_and_Salt
Oh no, I was still half asleep, so I couldn't even stop my fall.
I have a tendency to fall asleep wearing my glasses. My face hit the floor and the right eye piece and bridge piece cut up my brow and socket.
I'd caught my foot in the blanket.
@Shelter well that blanket was a right bastard for doing that.
@Coffee_and_Salt
Then there was the holidays before my mom had moved here, 13 was an infant, and I heard him shrieking in the middle of the night. I, still asleep, jumped up and ran. Slammed straight into a wall, bounced off, broke my toe, hit the floor, yelled, I'M ALRIGHT! and hobbled in to help him.
My mom was like, "Still?"
@Shelter "after all this time...?"
and mom mode is serious mode.
@Coffee_and_Salt
Look she got stung on the tongue once because she didn't check her beer before she took a sip, so she had no place to say anything.
@Shelter so you come by it honestly is what i'm hearing.
@Coffee_and_Salt
Oh god I haven't even gotten into my dad.
@Shelter and you never stood a change. stumbled a chance maybe.
@Coffee_and_Salt
I'm accident prone even just being alive.
My husband keeps track of the ways I have gotten hurt.
Somewhere there's a picture of what I did to my eye socket getting up to pee one night.