Big favor to ask.
I finally got up the nerve to tell my brothers I wanted a meeting w/ them to discuss how the thee of us are going to work TOGETHER in taking care of our mothers. How the three of us are going to COMMUNICATE with each other on everything that has to do with our mother.
We meet in 1/2 hr.
Any calming energy, wishful thoughts and prayers are very very appreciated. ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️
I've made a list of what I need
to talk about, w/ "I feel," "I'm hearing you say," etc.
All good luck ❤️
@see_the_sus May the force be with you
@see_the_sus The first provocation may be a test to see if you'll react and he can fall back into comfortable toxic patterns. I think you have the strength to coast past that and find issue #2. I pray you will figure out what that one is and whether it is genuine, and maybe even forge some new slightly better pattern.
Brother1 would have that kind mentality but Brother2 wouldn't even be aware of such an idea. 😏
But it went well for the most part. It was irritating to find out that they're both believing her bullshit about me not being willing to help her. I told them, "I can't tell you the # of times that she'll say, "Oh I don't want to bother you." or "I've already asked so-and-so." She does this to pit us kids against each other, which has been her thing (one of) since I was a kid.
@see_the_sus I see this family situation and your attempt to communicate effectively with your siblings.
Tangent Would an Organisational App like Trello help?
I’d rather not be looking at my phone while talking with them.
So far Brother2 has called to say he’s going to be at least 1/2hr late and Brother1 hasn’t shown up.
@see_the_sus I understand, if your brothers agree, it could be established after today's meeting and be a way of maintaing accountability. It does need people to remember to log in and update accordingly.
I know I struggle with that on occasions
ooohhh, I see what you're talking about. I'm sorry, I was thinking it was some other organizational app. 
Thanks, I'll check it out cause yeah, we need something. We tried using Google Calendar, set up a family one, but it's proving to not be as helpful as we thought. Then Brother1 created some Notes to share (we're all iPhone folks) but that became clumsy.
Again, thanks for the suggestion!
@see_the_sus you've got this.
stay on msg. don't get caught up in old fights and harms. focus forward.
🙏🏾 🤞🏾 💪🏾 😊
BLOODY FUCKING HELL!! Brother2 just called to say he’ll be “at least” 30 mins late. I knew one of them would pull this shit. 🤬🤬
I arranged to meet with my bestie in two hours to make sure I kept on track and had an excuse to excise myself should the meeting not go well. As well as to have a friend to hug afterwards.
@see_the_sus you have prepped well. do not let their shit get in the way of what you are trying to do. you've got this. you can't control what they do. all you can do is control how you react.
deep breath. calm yourself. you can do this. stay on msg. & you have your bestie to rant & vent to when it's all done.
you can do it!!!!
Brother2 made it over almost an hour late but Brother1 and I hadn't gotten too much out of the way. Even with my list, it's still hard for me to stay focused and not meander around into other topics. 😬
It went fairly well, thankfully. We all agreed, (well, Brother2 still wants to live in la-la land), that the future is only going to get rockier with my mom and the sooner we can find a way for the 3 of us to be organized together, the smoother'ish life will be for all of us.
@see_the_sus @singlemaltgirl ❤️ Good , maybe you can make semi regular mom meetings and it will get easier over time!
@see_the_sus @singlemaltgirl ❤️ Good , maybe you can make semi regular "mom status" meetings and it will be about/for mom and not your guys problems and maybe it will get easier over time!
@see_the_sus 👏🏾 well done, you! you did the heavy lifting & made things happen. this is awesome. ofc, this is never a 1 convo deal but opening it takes a lot & you did it!!!! 👏🏾
your bros will always be the way you know them to be. but you wrangled them. & you're getting them to see some shit. gentle reminders, nudges, & more family mtgs will get them there.
i hope you were able to decompress w/ you bestie 😊
Thanks ♥️♥️
She and I weren’t able to hang out after all. She was at work longer than planned and by 5 o’clock we agreed it was just too damn hot to go out and drive anywhere. Instead we’ve got plans for this Friday.
@see_the_sus ❤️ Sounds like you have come up with a solid plan, Don't forget to "smell a rose and blow out a candle " if you get stressed (breathe in deep through the nose and exhale through mouth) Don't let them provoke/ you and what I do in these cases is keep my expectations low! Good that you have the Bestie on standby, you can do this , much luck and all good do something extra nice for yourself after to celebrate either way because this is huge!
"standby," I like that! I'm stealing it! 😂
I'm going to post an update in just a bit, but for the most part it went well.
@see_the_sus ❤️ 🌺 Good deal!
@see_the_sus best wishes
@see_the_sus Positive vibes to you and yours!
@see_the_sus 🙏