I have realized that I am afraid to sleep because due to the losses in my life I'm convinced that I won't wake up. Everyone I loved died in or on bed. That's some shit I have to handle.
@foxtrax1 I appreciate that. I will never know peace from this. I know that while my mom was dying I was watching Jesus Christ, Superstar with my kids and my mom had said she hadn't slept well and she had neck pain. So I let her sleep, so I thought. I will never be okay.
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