Gonna have to shave myself down to a 'stache and pick up a bunch of Hawaiian shirts. Maybe join a bowling league. 😂

"Excuse me, bartender? I'd like a candy apple martini please."

Get me a bunch of extra rings and a gaudy gold-plated neck chain. Switch to Nikes and track suits on the weekends.

Stock up on my collection of leather-clad aprons and start sleeping in button-assed onesies.

Buy me a bronzed pinapple emblazoned with my new motto: CABANA LYFE. Get me a couple of matching tattoos.

Probably rock some version of a mullet tbh.

@kel Only allowed if your wearing coconut bra, grass skirt, sock, and flip flops