@MrsE0113 I'm not having a funeral and I wish for no memorial service. Makes it even easier.
@Tacitus_Kilgore I want my family to have closure.. but there are those..
@MrsE0113 my mom took a long time to die. when she was in her last days, she asked some family members (thru some brown grapevine b/c it sure as shit wasn't thru me) to come to her bedside.
they had wronged her in many ways & she wanted to die w/ forgiveness & peace. i told her she just needed to forgive them in her heart & find peace for herself. she didn't need them. but my mom had to do it her way.
they never did come to her bedside.
those were the ones forbidden to pay their respects.
@singlemaltgirl @MrsE0113 that's seriously sad that they wouldn't come to see her.
@DCliffo they were pretty awful ugly relatives. i'd given them the boot years ago. but it was my mom's brother & his sons. she loved them despite what they'd done to her.
but they were all about the show. they tried to show up to the funeral & they tried to pay for it (they were well off). i told them to eat shit. i had to take a loan to pay for her funeral but i didn't want them to be able to assuage their conscience w/ money. my mom wouldn't have wanted that either.
In my will I asked my son to consider just scattering my ashes, then a few months later to have a luncheon with special invited guests only of his choosing.
A friend of mine did that and it was a really nice way to honor them in love rather than full of grief.
@MrsE0113 Understood.