I find the most difficult aspect in the struggle of personal growth is when I recognize I'm acting like a scared, petulant child, but am caught up in the emotions of the moment and can't seem to stop that roll.
It's painful. It's heartbreaking. It's rude. It's unnecessary. It's immature.
The apology to others and myself comes after, with the sickening, dreadful fear and realization of self-sabotage.
Why must it be so hard to attain the ability and acuity for peaceful forward progression?
@ChippySuave
Because we're imperfect humans who often fail to live up to our ideals? But we keep our failures internalized and as a result, we don't see that others are like us, and that disappointing ourselves is more common than we think?
Just speculating here.
Politics and covid have changed our county in the last years. Irrevocably. We maintain a constant state of fear which we cloak with anger.
Like frightened chihuahuas, we are always in self protection mode which brings out our worst. Who or what will strike next? Another unprovoked shooting? Unlawful conduct by our elected officials? Another strain of covid? Another threat of civil war?
It’s up to me to take three breaths before responding. There is no rush.
@ChippySuave
Because we’re human. Don’t be so hard on yourself. 💜
@ChippySuave I’d give you advice but I find myself in the same boat sometime. It has certainly lessened since I stopped drinking (recovering alcoholic) but it’s not easy. As someone once said, being mindful is easy. It’s the remembering to be that’s tough.