It was finally a Bill and Ted poster!

Now she always says, "You already did that," when I tell her that's what she's getting. I still haven't reminded her yet that there was a sequel.

The poster was in a poster frame. Big, flat, and the right size and weight for a movie poster. I wrapped it, so no one could see what it was. Still, I thought they'd be at least a little suspicious. Nope! Right up to the last second it was, "Well, whatever it is, I know it's NOT a Bill and Ted poster!"

That might have been my best Christmas! The shock on her face! The way my parents cracked up laughing!

I remember how old she was because several Big Things that year anchored it in my mind. One of the Big Things was her getting engaged. December came, she asked what I was giving her, I said it would be a Bill and Ted poster, and everyone had to explain the really long running joke to her fiance.

But nobody thought about the store at the mall that sold movie posters. Of course they didn't! I had spent over 10 years training them to believe this would never happen.

She was shocked! She squealed with delight! And when Christmas came...

Sister: What are you giving me for Christmas?
Me: Bill and Ted poster.
Mom: Not this again!

Eventually, after a few years, it became, "What are you giving me? And don't say 'Bill and Ted' poster!"

I think I stopped doing this for every birthday and Christmas around the time she started middle school. But I'd say it now and then. It wasn't completely forgotten.

Then there was Christmas when she was 20 years old.

I'm 8 years older. No other siblings. I had no one else to play these things out on. Her party was All Little Mermaid, but I had spent weeks telling her I was giving her a Bill & Ted poster for her birthday. She's opening Little Mermaid present after Little Mermaid present, our mom hands her a box and tells her it's from me, and the kid looks at me and smiles like we have a shared secret and says, "I know what this is!"

It was a Little Mermaid t-shirt and watch.

It's holiday season, I'm feeling generous... I shall bless you all with the story of the Bill & Ted poster!

"Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" and Disney's original "The Little Mermaid" both came out in 1989. By the next year, my sister was All Little Mermaid All The Time. I'm not good with remembering ages, when people were born, or sometimes my own birthday. So I just know her next birthday was somewhere between 5 and 7 years old.

Sometimes the problem with talking about trauma isn't having someone to talk to. Sometimes it's the actual talking about it. The brain starts shutting doors because NOPE! We're just not even going to look in there! But I still know what's on the other side of the door. That's why I draw and play instruments. I can tell my story without words. #CoSoMentalHealth

It's December. My outdoor plants had to come in before the end of October. We've been running heat and wearing jackets and long sleeves for a while now. We've had light snow twice.

I took this picture in my yard today.

Shai-Hulud is feeling social today. Resting with his head out isn't as rare as it used to be, but still pretty uncommon. He flicks his tongue at me if I sit and talk to him.

I have knitted 81 hexagons this year for getting started on my blanket. I'm trying not to think too much about how many need to be done (400+). Number 82 is on my needles. #CoSoKnitting

People are getting excited about the new Dune trailer and I'm like...Y'all. No. This war is bullshit. Look at those enormous sandworms! They could just swallow everybody and end this!

Those sandworms are beautiful. 🥰

I want to knit a shrug. It's like a shawl and a scarf had a baby, and nobody knows which side of the family the sleeves came from. But I need needles I don't often use and would need to turn a light on and hunt through a couple of boxes. I can't do that at 1:30 am with a sleeping spouse in the room. Hmm...maybe *I* should try this "sleep" thing.

Everything is icy blue and white with sprinkles of holly and mistletoe. I'm still going with colors of The Harvest.

And still saying "The Harvest" like it's some cryptic thing that makes you want to get away before The Festivities start.

For those of us who are ready for December to be done...

Sister-in-law: Tell the Lake Monster to stop sending her children to visit us! Somebody abandoned these turtles at the pet supplies shop, so we're fostering them for the winter.

Me: Turtles aren't descendants of the Lake Monster. Snakes and monitor lizards are.

SiL: So...why do you get so happy when I move turtles out of the road to save them?

Me: I like turtles.

Husband: *remembers Zombie Kid and cracks up laughing*

I'm having a "But what if I'm not good enough???" day, so if you are too, I'm going to tell you what I keep telling myself.

No, you're not "good enough".
You are so much more than merely "good enough". You are fabulous!

#CoSoMentalHealth

It's probably been about 30 years since I last folded an origami Christmas ornament. What I've learned tonight is that younger me must have known how to fold a square into thirds, but hid that information from current me.