My last Christmas with my dad was in 2014. Every year, I want Linus to tell me again what Christmas is all about. Because I finally understand why the part of the story I always wished there was more of is how Joseph loved and raised a child he wasn't part of creating.

Dad was the only one who knew why I cried and found my love of the holidays when Linus stood on that stage.

My dad adopted me. I asked him one time if he loved my sister more because she's "really his".

He said, "You're really mine, too. I have the papers from the lawyer to prove it."

And then he told me what nobody had ever told me before. He made being allowed to adopt me a condition of my mom accepting his proposal. He wanted both of us.

I really am his child.

It didn't even matter that it doesn't match to my devotional and spiritual practices. In that moment, that was never the point for me.

And one year, in my 30s, my dad gave me a Christmas card with Linus on the stage on it. When I opened it, it played a recording of Linus explaining what Christmas is all about.

I hugged my dad like I was a little kid again! I said, "That's my favorite part!"

And he laughed and said, "I know. That's why I bought it for you."

My sister-in-law brought home a DVD copy of the Peanuts Christmas special for me. This is wonderful! 🥰 And it's going to be really emotional.

I have always hated the high commercialization and social obligations of Christmas. The part where Charlie Brown cries out for anyone to tell him what Christmas is all about, and then Linus standing alone on the stage and telling him...

That's when I found my "Christmas spirit" every year.

We decided the Star Wars nativity is going to be so epic that it should not be rushed. I'll work on it throughout the year for next Christmas.

I still need to crochet a baby Baphomet for a Sol Invictus gift.

Really fighting myself on making a Christmas angel. Because I want to make it accurate according to descriptions and I know my mother-in-law won't like that.

This is not my time of year.

I'll have to take a picture later with better lighting... I get really excited about rocks! I love rocks! The Earth paints her history in rocks. 💜

Tonight, my sister-in-law gave me a piece of blue apatite. This is not a rock I've known before. Y'all! It's so beautiful! It's like somebody turned a whole ocean into a rock so you can hold it in your hand!

And yes, I named her Scout because "To Kill a Mockingbird" is one of my favorite books. I have never met a character who is as much like myself as Scout Finch.

Instead of the dumpster fire bird app, my favorite bird app is the Finch app. Helps me manage daily tasks and self-care. And today my little Finch friend discovered one of my favorite facts about birds! Yes...birds are dinosaurs!

I kind of wish I had not spent what energy I had for the day vacuuming...but I don't dread looking at the floor now.

I've been working on something for a week, and now that it's finished... I hate it.

Who put those greens together?!
Oh. I did.

Well, it was a learning experience!
#CoSoArt

Decorating in a family mixed with agnostics, pagans, and Christians is...an experience.

I've worked out the details with the biggest Star Wars fan in the house, and we've decided I'll be making a Star Wars nativity scene for Christmas this year.