Mr. Cosmic had ankle surgery today. Here's how it's going:

Me: Um. Have you ever used crutches before? Did they have you practice?
Mr. C: Nah. It's intuitive.
Me: Not really. When you stand...
Mr. C: If you aren't going to be helpful, leave me alone.
Me: OK. *walks to the kitchen*

[Sound of adult male losing his balance and falling backwards into the recliner]

Me: There are intuitive YouTube videos.