Wait no--found it! It's this guy: https://www.dell.com/en-us/work/shop/desktops-all-in-one-pcs/vostro-5880-desktop/spd/vostro-5880-desktop/cav5880w10ph03b7
Coupon code DBPRDT1 brings it down to $699.
@rpardee Boooooooooooo! that sucks
As of this morning, the box is in Seattle. Woot!