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We are all oppressed by the dominant order of cis-heteropatriarchy. Every. Last. Damn. One. Of. US. I mean have you ever had a deep conversation with a cis-het white man in which you caught a glimpse of their emotional landscape? If they are also able-bodied, middle-class and educated, they are the dominant elite. But they all have the emotional scars to prove the crippling oppression of dominant norms. Not an excuse, ofc. But true.

@publickovacs im married to the nicest man in the world. But share feelings ??? Absolutly not. Have I heard, I love you so much ! Never.. He cooks for me without passion, its a shame ..he'd be perfect.. Been trying to wear him down for years.. Maybe a vacation. But yes his upbringing made him (I think ) fear a taste not of showing emotion. His grandparents just didnt do that. What a shame. Still hoping

@Lee22
In my experience, the work is arduous but it can be done. I would bring in a counselor or therapist, though, to get started on it. An impartial third party is invaluable if you are going to work with your partner on strengthening/ deepening the relationship. Mind you, lots of relationships will *last* without that, but not necessarily be fulfilling. And us women are messed up, too, by the same order that crippled the men.

@Lee22 @publickovacs my therapist now life coach gave me these a couple of years back - they helped get familiarized with all kinds of emotions. Through the day I would look at it and point at how I was feeling at that momentā€¦

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