Postal Poet
Poet. Dreamer. Furry (I'm a polar bear!) Reader of books. Autistic. Atheist. Pansexual/Fraysexual. Polyamorous and ENM. 42 from Colorado. Twitter escapee.
Joined Apr 2024
(My first day as a doctor)
*patient comes in with a fractured spine*
Me: I'm afraid you've broken your bone rope.
Me: Hi, do you take walk-ins?
Morgue receptionist: What?
A friend of mine told me, "Yeah man, I cruise around town in a $50,000 Lexus!" I said, "So what? I cruise around town in a $200,000 Metro bus!"
This just in: A group of monks were seen selling flowers on the Playboy estate. Before the police arrived, the monks were chased off the property by Mr. Hefner. A police spokesman said, "It would seem that only Hugh can prevent florist friars."
My buddy Puck must have missed me today. He gives ZERO fucks. (or PUCKS, if you will) #catsofcoso
It is in dreams that I have known the real clutch of stark, hideous, maddening, paralyzing fear. My infant nightmares were classics, and in them there is not an abyss of agonizing cosmic horror that I have not explored. I don't have such dreams now—but the memory of them will never leave me. It is undoubtedly from them that the darkest and most gruesome side of my fictional imagination is derived.
—H.P. Lovecraft
Well, I have now had three relatives (two aunts and an uncle) unfriend me on Facebook due to my political/religious views.
No sweat off of my back.
The only problem with "an eye for an eye" is that everyone eventually ends up blind.
I must be doing really well with my finances. My bank keeps sending me letters in the mail saying my account is outstanding.
The world is a giant cookie jar. The countries are the cookies, and the people are the crumbs. I happen to be one of the chocolate chips.
If the devil has a pitchfork, and the Grim Reaper has a scythe, is agriculture a big business in the underworld?
A panic attack is the evil twin of an orgasm.
I just asked myself if I was crazy and we all said no.
Over the years I've known people that had so many brooms up their asses that if they leaned against the wall they'd be a cleaning closet.
Postal Poet
Poet. Dreamer. Furry (I'm a polar bear!) Reader of books. Autistic. Atheist. Pansexual/Fraysexual. Polyamorous and ENM. 42 from Colorado. Twitter escapee.
Joined Apr 2024