I went into a shop and asked “Have you got any bulldog clips?”

The shopkeeper replied “No, but I’ve got a nice video of a Jack Russell”.

How do you give up in a towel throwing contest?

Typical!
No one turned up at Camouflage Club.
Again!

I’ve just mixed ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter’ with butter and now I don’t know what to believe!

I'm not a huge fan of innuendo puns but I do like to slip one in every now and then...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9qrn4b0HT0&feature=share

Mean Mary: Breathless.

#CoSoMusic

Nine goofy, award-winning animal photos to turn your day around.
https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/funniest-animal-photos-2020/

I know several jokes in sign language.

I guarantee you, no one has ever heard them before.

Today I will be talking about the Makita 18V Cordless 1/2-Inch Hammer Drive.

You know the drill.

I ran over 5 miles today.

Like, what are the odds they were all named Miles? Crazy.

What do you call a naked bear?

A bare.

I was sitting on the toilet, angry, and late for work.

I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”

I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.

I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.

Pre- means before. Post- means after. To use both prefixes together,

...would be preposterous.

Poop jokes aren’t my favourite kind of joke.

But they are a solid #2.

Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.

I said, “Is that a fret?”

I just saw some idiot at the gym.

He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.