I have the brain of an 8-yr-old child. In a jar on my desk.

I have the heart of a warrior, the brain of an engineer, the legs of a runner, and the upper body of a weight lifter, but I think I'm out of room in the freezer.

I bought a suit jacket from the Mamas and the Papas, all the sleeves were brown and the tie was grey…

2: Everyone who tastes my home-made wine says it tastes horrible. I think it's just sour grapes.

1: My dyslexia has just hit a new owl.

4: Charles Dickens walks into a cocktail bar ~ the Bartender asks “Olive or Twist?”

3: After 10 pints I was weaving dangerously in the middle of the road. So I took the basket home to finish it.

They’re going for a repeat of the knee flush out tomorrow.

2: Quantum physicists - "So if we put a cat into a box..."

Cat owners - "Yeah, good luck with that."

1: A friend gave me a roll of bubble wrap. As I had no where to store it, I had to pop it in a corner.

4: You can fix any loose key on your computer keyboard with superglue.
Just be careful you donnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

3: I don't wanna get too emotional but man oh man, every time I put the car in reverse it takes me back.

Just back from having had a PICC line installed. This is a tube running inside a vein from just above my left elbow to the top of my heart. It allows for easier sampling of blood and for insertion of nutrients and medication and totally replaced any cannulae. It can also remain in place for many months.
So it’s goodbye to this horrid mess.

These rose patterned bed sheets might not create the exact effect you were going for.

I understand that someone once found a bug on their bed and they decided to name it "bedbug." But I can't imagine how terrifying it was for the dude who came up with "cockroach."

Middle-aged Mutant Ninja Turtles

A friend brought a few things from my place, clothing, a working phone charger and, more importantly, a box fan which is working nicely. This is an older hospital building and has very poor air conditioning. We expect 38°C today (100°F) and virtually the same for the next two days.

2: Ever since my neighbours got a garden deck, all they do is go on about what they can do with it.
So I reported them to the police, for talking about terrace activities.

1: The Institute for Unfinished Research has found that 6 out of 10 people…

4: The skill needed for perfect origami is increasing.

3: Today's Trivia Fact:
Tall people sleep longer in bed.

AFAIK, the pink is from the antiseptic used to flush out the knee joint. They found a bacterial infection.

My sister is a retired pharmacist. She says it’s fine to combine colchecine with Indomethacin, my preferred NSAID.

I have severe gout (uric acid crystals in the knee joint) or pseudogout (calcium crystals). Now trying to persuade the medical staff that colchecine CAN be used with NSAID anti inflammatories.

Black Friday has failed me.

I ordered Four Kindles off Amazon, and they sent me a Two Ronnies DVD.

Koi fish always travel in groups of four. If attacked, Koi A, B and C will scatter, leaving behind the D Koi.