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4: I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles and now I'm experiencing constant vowel movements. The next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

3: When I dunk my biscuits, I often think of you...

..and hold them under until the bubbles stop.

@Say_what_now You understand, I trust, that I refer to the British/Commonwealth form of biscuits, not that unfortunately named scone derivative of the word?

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