2: Me: I think I've got a problem with my ears.

Doctor: Can you describe the symptoms?

Me: Marge has blue hair, Homer is fat & bald.

1: The joy of finding an amazing bookshop, spending hours browsing the shelves, discovering new books, carefully deciding which ones to take-and having the magic destroyed by someone yelling at you: "Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?"