26.This show. This fucking show is killing me, Smalls.

25. Wanna go get a sando? One hundo!

24. If my predictions about this show are at all off base, I will be fucking shocked. Predictable writing, predictable plot. Please surprise me, Ms. Addams.

23. How Now Pilgrim? The proper greeting is What Cheer, you fucking imbecile.

22. If y’all don’t wanna be found, don’t have your secret society leave clues behind. Nancy Goddamn Drew is gonna sniff you out, fuckos.

21. Unsurprisingly, the call is coming from inside the school.

20. If your principal can’t shape shift, you’re at the wrong Monster Academy! I mean Hogwarts! I mean Nevermore!

19. Vampires love these sunny days in the water.

18. And now it's Race for Your Life, Wednesday Addams.

17. You can't attempt multiple murders in episode 1 and settle for humiliation thereafter.

16. Everyone spouts off the most obvious quips and it’s fucking awful. I’m officially hate-watching Wednesday.

15. This asshole is the whitest damn Urkel ever. Did heeee do that?

14. You know who probably gives a world class handjob? Thing.

13. Where you taking old Yeller, Pa?

12. Danny’s gotta fucking’ Elf, Man. Whiiiiimsy AF Bitches.

11. Dead-eyed is more disturbing than glaring. If the glaring is performative, see #1.

10. Enough with the shitty quips, little girl. You’re better than this.

9. Sunny day there, Nevermore.

8. Ooh. But this Harvey goes to therapy. Good for him.

7. They gave her a god-damned Harvey.