It's been a while since I've spent time with other people ... I avoid people because I don't relate to people well and talking to people is exhausting. But I spent a few hours with someone today who is really ... manic ... their energy is all over the place, they are in a constant state of stress, they can't keep track of anything from one second to the next and this is just normal for them and something they don't think is a problem. It was so awful and exhausting to be exposed to for hours.

I will end up, for the next 3 days, completely in a state of recovery ... and it's just not worth it. Just not worth it at all.

@thewebrecluse I feel this. I'm the same way. I's really not.🖤

@mistressticia it's really sad to see someone like that because that's so not any way to live ... It's so unhealthy and it's like a slow death living a life like that ... in constant state of stress and mania and just such bad energy. But I also know you can't say anything to people like that ... you can't suggest anything to them or even say that something isn't right because that's just their reality and they think it's normal to be such a mess or that they is no other way to live.

@thewebrecluse I agree. I refuse to let anyone drain my energy anymore. Taking my power back! :D

@mistressticia My hard wiring is such that when someone needs help and it's something I have a skill in, I am always willing to help.

Regardless of those consequences.

In my mind I think if it's something I can do, and do anyway, and this person needs help in it ... then to refuse is simply selfish and way too self focused. I went to go help someone with something and ended up not being able to leave right when I needed to ... not wanting to be rude ... and was trapped there for HOURS.

@mistressticia I should have left at the first sign of trouble ... the person was in a "bad mood" because their life is hectic and crazy and they have no ability to control themselves or their circumstances so they just mistreat people because they feel justified by their chronic issues and hectic life. Right then I should have walked out ... I should have refused to help them but refusing to help someone with something I CAN do, even though they refuse to help THEMSELVES ... seems wrong.

@thewebrecluse I hear/feel everything you're saying and I'm here to support you. Sometimes we need to be selfish. Don't ever apologize for that. If you're not okay, you're not going to do anyone any good. I'm re-learning this for myself these days. I recently had a conversation with someone where I told them I couldn't save them(they were projecting unconscious and unrealistic expectations on me) they had to save themselves. They have a therapy appointment this week. Some get
it. Some don't.

@mistressticia I ALWAYS deeply appreciate your responses and sentiments.

I have never been in a situation or relationship with anyone other than my tribemates where the people have ever recognized they needed help and were willing to get it. It's why my tribemates have been together as a family for over 30 years. Sometimes it feels like we're the only people who care about ourselves and others enough to do the necessary work.

We maintain our peace and happiness however we need to. ❤️