What started with #TheSagaofGary and continued with #TheSagaofFred is about to become a new, as yet untitled saga about an unmet bird who has probably met its demise and is now chilling in a grocer's freezer as I type.

Will it be better than those? Probably not. Will it be as stupid? Definitely. Will it be as random and perplexing? I'd guess so. I would defer responsibility, but it's definitely my fault.

And so it begins. Turn away if you aren't into eating dead birds.