Sometimes my brain fills with anxiety and then its like...

#cosomemes

Is weird waking up at midnight. Stupid covids. Anyways, good evemorninoon coso ❤️

Would be rad if there was a card you could buy, like trading cards, that were albums/artists/music and you can just tap it on your phone or pc and play the music/see the art/etc. Would be neat. Or maybe I'm just a nerd who likes collecting trading cards 😂

Why is there not substack for musicians 😢

Well, my attempt to burn the covid fatigue out with coffee is only mildly successful 😂

Mum got positive covid test about 20mins ago. We've been feeling rough with headaches, muscle cramps, nausea for last 2 days (same as parents). That could defs explain it. Hopefully not as bad as the first version we got back in march 2020.

4/X

So while everything we do with PHDM is built on a foundation of love, acceptance, being a supportive safe space. Its also built on the broken bones and scars of a younger me who wanted to be seen, who deserved to feel safe and do what they were good at. So that I can be now, what I needed back then. Because we still need it now and because I'm not the only one who does. I don't want someone else to have stand alone like I have.

3/X

Sure, on a personal one-to-one level I've talked to many of them about these things and they proclaim solidarity, but they never DO anything or SAY anything about it publically. Their silence spoke volumes to me. So when I stood up the last time, and met that same deafening silence. I lost what little respect I had left. Decided, "fuck these weak people", and started PHDM. I don't need a seat at their table. I'll build a whole fucking restaurant.

2/X

...between male and female performers. That all my female peers had been dropped, ignored, overlooked and essentially involuntarily 'retired' and we were being pushed out, that these people HAD the power to demand equality and respect for their female PEERS. They were silent. It made me realise that these 'friends' that I'd looked up to and respected were not really friends. They were cowards. I stand up because I have to. I don't get to choose silence.

1/X?

Saw a speech by Abby Wambach, one of the points she made was about solidarity cant exist without risk. That there is no such thing as silent solidarity and man it hit such a button for me. 12 years ago I was beaten up and stopped from playing shows for being LBGT in electronic music. I still cant feel my chin and have scars on my head. And all of the 'big' artists who knew me and were 'big fans' were entirely silent. I stood alone. When I spoke out 2 years ago about the huge imbalance..