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Man-Eater of Kumaon prefigures such films as Jaws, The Ghost and the Darkness, and even Cujo, not just in their man vs. Animal premise, but most notably because they are all the fruit of honest hard work and sheer ingenuity.

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Float is based on a Wattpad story, and it shows. Where else would you find a Chinese heroine named after a Disney Channel show about wizards?

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Taller Than the Trees opens with what appears to be a quote from Henry David Thoreau from which the movie draws its title, except it's actually a misattribution. D'oh!

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The plagues and all that comes after are the most baffling aspect of an already bewildering script. Are these ‘acts of God’ in the literal sense, or only in the insurance policy interpretation of the expression?

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Crabs! opens with a scene where two people having intercourse on a beach are attacked by killer horseshoe crabs. That’s a nice riff on the ‘don’t have sex’ horror flick rule (what with ‘crabs’ being the slang term for pediculosis pubis).

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Watching Beyond Utopia, one thought kept recurring: ‘there but for the grace of God.’ That I was born in Costa Rica of all places is an accident of birth; to have been “born in the wrong country” — i.e., North Korea — would have been a fucking catastrophe.

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They Shot the Piano Player is refreshing, but only for a while. More cerebral than heady, it is serious as a heart attack, and it will test how high and how long your brow and your attention span are, respectively.

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The Mountain opens with a magnificent sequence, featuring a passenger plane crashing and burning near the top of Mont Blanc in the French Alps, that puts to shame the pitifully phony, computer-generated aerial (or land based, or maritime) action set pieces we see today even in high-profile, big-budget productions.

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Whenever you pair up a real-world problem with a supernatural/paranormal premise, the latter is bound to undermine the former, as we’re faced with the thankless choice of either taking the one subject a little more lightly, or the other a little more seriously, than we ought to.

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This crew is just like Sol, Vinny, and Tyrone from Snatch, except that Final Heist is not a comedy. Forget ‘one last job;’ how did these stupid fucking bastards ever get past the first job?

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The whole movie is a very short trip down memory lane; never mind that it’s been nowhere near long enough for there to be anything concerning The Thundermans to feel nostalgic about.

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What’s not to like about a movie featuring Miranda ‘iCarly’ Cosgrove and Nic Nemeth (aka Dolph Ziggler)? And the answer is, June Fine (Esther Povitsky), whom as the title suggests Drugstore June is actually about. This bitch makes Bill Burr seem positively genial, and I fucking hate Bill Burr.

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The filmmakers considerably lower the stakes by surrounding the heroine with a sterile, candy floss CGI world that utterly fails to present a credible challenge.

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Argylle is an overlong, dimwitted, eye-achingly gaudy clusterfuck that brazenly apes Romancing the Stone and The Long Kiss Goodnight but has somehow never heard of Hudson Hawk; how else to explain that it wastes the invaluable Richard E. Grant on an inconsequential cameo?

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I’m not one to talk back at the screen, but listening to Rosa Parks bragging that she knew exactly what she was doing in a movie also featuring Cedric the Entertainer, I almost got up and shouted, ‘You ain’t do nothing but sit yo’ black ass down!’

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Moon Garden is a worthy spiritual successor to two mid-to-late 1980s disturbing and stylish oneiric masterpieces: Neil Jordan’s The Company of Wolves and Bernard Rose’s Paperhouse. Here’s a film that steadfastly refuses to look like it was made in 2022 and is all the better for it.

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Careless writing aside, Lonely Crime Fanatic is smarter and more self-aware than your average Lifetime flick.
#Fanatic
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In Love with My Partner’s Wife is a story as old as time. Boy meets girl. Girl becomes boy’s battered trophy wife. Boy turns out to be a crooked cop on a drug lord’s payroll. Girl develops Addison’s disease. Boy has a partner who’s a total boy scout. Girl meets boy scout. Boy scout falls in love with partner’s wife. It’s the circle of life.

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After the Truth (original title Nichts als die Wahrheit) is as close as it gets to playing Devil’s advocate without having the defendant literally be Satan. Then again, Josef Mengele was worse than the Devil himself, because the Devil’s not real.

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A movie set in an environment where decisions aren’t decisive, actions are inconsequential, and it’s easy to make a sacrifice because nothing is ever at stake.

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