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This isn’t the Onion.
“Trump Insists He's Not Cognitively Impaired in Incomprehensible Rant”
Reality is more bizarre than fiction.
He also promised to tell us when he is cognitively impaired. He really doesn’t understand what that means.
https://newrepublic.com/maz/post/187129/trump-insists-mentally-fine-incomprehensible-rant