How about a Thanksgiving day story!
So, there was this scruffy dude walking downtown pissing on all the shop door handles, so as I walked by I asked "WTF are you doing"? The dude, jumped, yelped, pissed all over himself zipped up and took off running - as he was running I hollared out "Happy Thanksgiving"! He turned around and gave me the bird so I said, wrong bird!
The end!