welp. didn't have THAT on my 2024 bingo card.

burn in hell, you fucking murderer. 😎👍

🗣️ CAMPAIGN! ON! THIS!

oh you mean corporations DON'T depend on interest rates to set their prices?!

oh don't fucking act like you're an ally, you dickweasel

is he comparing Trump to Grover Cleveland? he's fucking comparing Donald Trump to Grover Cleveland.

I FUCKING HATE THIS TIMELINE

"met the criteria"? what criteria? do you have 40 living hostages, yes or no?

the media sure fucking does

why would his approval rating move when he's just been running anti-Trump ads? when is he going to run ads on the BILLIONS in student loan debt he's forgiven? the semiconductor manufacturing he brought back? the infrastructure he actually got passed instead of running endless "infrastructure weeks" where he just tooted a semi truck horn? the ACA subsidy expansion, the American Rescue Plan, the Inflation Reduction Act with all its tax credits, BRAG ABOUT YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS MAN!

which is stupid because the calculus hasn't changed. "do you want chicken Parm or anthrax?" "well I picked chicken Parm last time but it wasn't as good as I was hoping..." "ok the alternative is still ANTHRAX. do you want underwhelming chicken Parm or FUCKING ANTHRAX?"

also "scare" voters? bitch we are stating FACTS. don't act like we're playing the Republican fearmongering game

he doesn't need to, you chucklefucks do all his advertising for him for free by breathlessly echoing every word out of his mouth and every post on his Xitter knock-off, just like you did in 2016

is this even news anymore? every month is going to be the hottest [month] on record.

and let's not forget what happens when the ocean currents collapse... LAND HURRICANE BLIZZARDS

this skit is just begging for an update https://youtu.be/3m5qxZm_JqM

I never went from "YES!" to "NO!" so fast in my life

so reducing suicides by 400% isn't a benefit? y'all really just want trans people dead, huh?

RETALIATION. FOR A CEASE-FIRE.

"I don't see anything!" he said, blindfolded

you literally JUST got done talking about how divided we are. an instant self-own or trying to "both sides" political division itself?

I am starting to hate other people so much maybe I should be a Republican too, because that's all the party is at this point.

Democrat-led states are passing free school meals for everyone, meanwhile Republican-led states continue trying their damnedest to ensure poor children starve to death

Ross Douthat not being the fucking worst challenge failed again