Uh oh, I've changed cars more often than some of those spice bottles.

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Friday someone brought a big tin of butter cookies to the office and tomorrow I'm going to slip a spool of thread and a couple of large buttons in the mostly empty tin.

Dangerous Monster? Well, that's just my everyday name.

Sure, in theory, but the problem is things like this are almost invariably posted by bigots trying to explain why I shouldn't be shaming them for it. I'm not playing in the same sandbox as someone who is going to take a crap in it.

BRB, I have to go add more detail back into the Wikipedia plot summary of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

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😂

Finally, robots that will watch your kids, walk your dog, maybe paint a picture, freeing you up to do the things you love like doing the dishes, cleaning the house, and working in an emerald mine.

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At the first Mars colony:
The good news is that we're out of potatoes, but we have other things to eat.
The bad news is that we're also out of bricks.

"I don't need to see your ID"

Listen, you're going to look at this ID, squint hard, then look at me and back at the ID or we're going to have a problem, OK?

"Flavored"? I'm really hoping that's not the case.

It was always, "Socrates, what is the nature of truth?", "Socrates, what are you having?", "Socrates, what should I order?"; but never once did any of you guys say, "Socrates, hemlock is poisonous." - Steve Martin

So, you're saying the cave is vacant now?

Snorfing : (SNORF ing) (n.) The little game waitstaff love to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking up and asking, "How is everything?"