Lou
LOSTie forever, Fire Starter, Westworld host, SciFi geek jonesing for his cortexiphan fix. Don't Panic! I WILL fix your computer, but I won't like it.
Joined Aug 2019
This gag, all on it's own, is enough to get me to see this in the theaters. Twice.
Lou
boosted
We have to keep the jury in a former president's criminal trial secret so the defendant doesn't order his supporters to literally murder them. This former president, who is also a proudly self admitted serial sexual assaulter and was found liable for rape, is also currently out on bail for other crimes and is under criminal indictment in four jurisdictions for nearly a hundred felonies.
He is also a current candidate for president of the United States.
Maybe it's just me. Kinda feels like it.
What is your one purpose in life?
To explode, of course!
Lou
boosted
It is with regret I must inform you today is over.
Please place your chairs in an upright position and proceed to the nearest available day. Your baggage should be with you at all times. Do not leave it here - unattended baggage left behind will be ridiculed by a future you.
On behalf of our staff we hope you had a pleasant trip and look forward to you being a frequent passenger of future todays.
"Time Travel Initiated"
I didn't mind time traveling but I really wish it didn't take so damn long.
A male cardinal fish incubating eggs in its mouth. Up to 30% are accidentally swallowed & eaten.
Oops, I meant ...up to 30% are 'accidentally' swallowed & eaten.
Evil. This show slays me.
https://youtu.be/-AV2l9g9rL8
Lou
boosted
The Rapture DID just occur. Both 'deserving' people were taken. They haven't been missed. We are the damned.
Don't believe me? Look around.
An old Chinese man just sold this plant to me for a dollar ninety-five. Sweet deal, right?
I've seen a lot of posts from people who think that the solar eclipse coupled with the recent NE earthquake means Jesus is coming again. What nutjobs! Everyone knows these are signs of the Second Coming of the Great Prophet Zarquon!
I'm not going to get Jumanji'd!
😂
“You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...”
― Steven Wright
Had a little earthquake here in NY. Not very exciting; I worked through it. I did briefly wonder if I should take a look outside because maybe it wasn't an earthquake and Skynet finally got us. No such luck, but a man can dream, can't he? Better luck next time.
"The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?"
(staring at the six-fingered turtle)
Because that son-of-a-bitch killed my father, that's why.
Department of Corrections: All references to 'Jesus will have the faithful taken during the rapture' should read 'Jesus will have the faithful eaten by the raptor'. We apologize for any confusion.
Lou
LOSTie forever, Fire Starter, Westworld host, SciFi geek jonesing for his cortexiphan fix. Don't Panic! I WILL fix your computer, but I won't like it.
Joined Aug 2019