Arming Teachers is a bad, bad, bad idea.

I wrote about it in detail here: Bang Bang Crazy, Stand and Teach

https://www.stonekettle.com/2018/03/bang-bang-crazy-part-13-stand-and-teach.html

Marjorie Taylor Green should probably avoid any window higher than the first floor.

Those who fail Vladimir Putin seem oddly prone to sudden "accidents."

If Republicans DO manage to cut off their own Johnson...

...at least they have plenty of other little pricks to choose from.

We have to keep the jury in a former president's criminal trial secret so the defendant doesn't order his supporters to literally murder them. This former president, who is also a proudly self admitted serial sexual assaulter and was found liable for rape, is also currently out on bail for other crimes and is under criminal indictment in four jurisdictions for nearly a hundred felonies.

He is also a current candidate for president of the United States.

Maybe it's just me. Kinda feels like it.

You know what I'd like? Leaders who don't spend all day dreaming about killing us.

New essay up on Stonekettle Station: The Menace From Space.

https://www.stonekettle.com/2024/04/the-menace-from-space.html

Jewish space lasers. Rods from God. And a dachshund or two.

This is New York, there needs to be one flamboyant drag queen on this jury, just cracking out one-liners the whole time.

You know, I am so goddamn sick of Donald Trump. This guy has inserted himself into every aspect of our lives for years now. It is LONG past time for him to go the hell away.

Whether that's to prison or a plot next Ivana at Bedminster, I don't care. Just go away.

If you read social media, it turns out about 95% of the US population has extensive experience piloting container ships out of Baltimore harbor.

Every single Response to Jim Jordan should be: I will answer that question, Congressman, as soon as you explain to the American people why you were complicit in the serial sexual assault of multiple students who trusted you to keep them safe.

Joe Biden should offer to debate Trump. Then when they get up on stage, the moderator asks if the president should have total immunity to do what's best in the national interest and when Trump answers yes, Biden calls in the Federal Marshals from behind the curtain and has Trump arrested, hogtied, and dragged away while they just keep playing Trump's answer on the big screen over and over.

God will not save the Republic

So we're going to have to save ourselves. No Safety. A new essay up on Stonekettle Station:

https://www.stonekettle.com/2024/03/no-safety.html

Say what you will about Joe Biden, but at least on his watch the US Navy never had to hide the name of a warship from their Commander in Chief to prevent him from having a rage induced tantrum on the pier like a fucking toddler.

Donald Trump, expectation: I'll PAY YOUR LEGAL FEES!

Donald Trump, reality: I need you to pay my $642,000,000 legal fees.

Republicans suddenly outraged by ethical concerns and the alleged unprofessionalism of someone in office having an affair is absolutely hilarious shit but will most certainly pale in comparison to the sheer awesome level of staggering hypocrisy Newt Gingrich will no doubt produce later today.

Let the Fox News Pundit among us who hasn't had an extramarital affair with one of his subordinates cast the first stone.

Thoughts and Prayers finally worked yesterday during the shooting at Joel Osteen's Mega Church. The money was unharmed.

Somewhere right now, Kevin McCarthy is drinking Boone's Farm straight from the bottle and making the jerk-off hand gesture towards his TV set.

Ironic, isn't it? How the "A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats" crowd refuses to work with Biden to fix America's various completely manageable problems because it might lift up people they don't like and make EVERYBODY look good?

If, on the orders of your leader, you actively prevent someone from saving the lives of a drowning mother and her children because according to your ideology they are a despised ethnic group unworthy of life, congratulations, you are essentially an SS concentration camp guard.

As a general rule of democracy: Don't vote for people who thought they might need a presidential pardon following a violent insurrection that attempted to overthrow your democracy.