Capsule reviews of all the bad (and the few not so bad) sci fi films I have watched recently, in no order.

LOGAN'S RUN: I hoped the book would make the film make more sense. It did not. Bonus points for all the cats, though. 1/

LASERBLAST: I watched the MST3K version hoping that would make it better. It did not. Protagonist has no personality, plot makes no sense, aliens looked cuddly (to those of us who grew up with ET) but no-one cuddled them. I award this film no points and may God have mercy on its soul. 2/

ROLLERBALL: 1975 original is slow burn genius. As the credits rolled my exact reaction was "I'm not sure I understand the endi- ohhhh fuuuuck."

2001 "remake" was unwatchable. Actors were mostly awful, plot made no sense, unlikeable protagonist did not die in a bloody motorcycle fire accident like I hoped. 3/

THE LAST STARFIGHTER: I will never hate this film for nostalgia reasons but I admit the plot has zero stakes.

STARSHIP TROOPERS: Has a similar "I'm going to hell for laughing at this" vibe as Robocop. Exactly what I wanted in a film. 4/

BATTLEFIELD EARTH: Why did I watch this

...ending somewhat redeemed the film but not entirely. The ending paid me back for maybe 18 minutes of the two hours I spent watching this. Not enough. Also the camera angles made my neck hurt. 5/

SPACE MUTINY: You can tell I had COVID because I actually made it to the end of this thing. This film didn't even need one floor cleaner chase scene and yet it had two. No.

STARCRASH: My only regret is not seeing this thing as a nine year old when I could have fallen in love with the cheesefest properly. Bonus point for female lead; bonus point rescinded for making her run around in a leather bikini for the entire film. 6/

THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN: Didn't finish, mostly because it is an unintentional comedy that only had one joke and it stopped being funny halfway through. Man is melting and eating people. We get it. 7/

THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKAROO BANZAI: I watched this because some rando on IMDB ranked it the #1 sci fi film of the 1980s, beating out The Empire Strikes Back (which is not possible). Fantastic cast, highly entertaining, not actually better than Empire but definitely getting added to my Would Always Agree to a Rewatch list. 8/

@danialexis Woo Hoo, Banzai! One of my very favorite cult classics. It even scored a spot on the family room wall of fame. I quote it all the time, usually resulting in mystified looks. It's like a secret handshake, though, if someone gets it you know they're on the level. 'Why is there a watermelon there?'