Good morning to everyone who understands that negotiation is not a matter of threats, tantrums, and outsourced violence.
@cassandra17lina
I so get this,
because I know what your pup just went through,
also because when dealing with my own dog,
words like "communication", "negotiation", "compromise", and "fairness" are the operative concepts.
I think she would let me do eye surgery on her if I had to. #Trust
@ceorl Trust is not gained at the point of a gun. Having been involved in legal and regulatory negotiations for years (albeit in a technical support role) I have seen that effective negotiation involves respect, creativity, flexibility, and a willingness to explore and embrace options we might otherwise have rejected.
@cassandra17lina
I would always enter negotiations with a laser focus on what the other party's motivations, desires, perspective, and needs were.
I think following that pattern also led to me winning some trust, as I always tried not to *win*, but to find a solution that satisfied everyone's needs, and as much of whatever shared goals we could find
@ceorl That’s precisely what’s needed for a lasting negotiation. Unfortunately, individuals or political parties whose approach is “my way or the highway” have no idea how to do this.
@cassandra17lina
Also it seems most businesses/organizations reinforce the wrong behaviors and methods.
The hard driving manager who screws everyone in their path does get the promotion, and is seen to be delivering the "results", but at invisible costs.
@cassandra17lina
I too remember a very few real leaders in my career.
I remember talking with my then "supervisor" after a 360 degree review.
It seems those under me in the hierarchy had a lot of respect for me, but those above thought my "results" were less than some.
When I pointed out the support I had from the actual workers, he informed me "They are not the ones who matter".
Switches flipped in my brain about him, and his code, and the organization, that never flipped back.