I spoke to her.
as in, I messaged her, my ex, in FL (long distance). She was the last GF I had, and lately we reconnected, but only online. I missed her and she me. we've been talking quite a bit the past couple of years.
and I am stuck on her.
given the events of this past weekend, I told her exactly what happened.
my ex is smart as a whip, and had always left our long distance relationship at arms' length. Given being unseen by others for 18 years, I was positive I'd be rolling into...
a re-relationship with her once the stars align, but she did mention more than once that long-distance is difficult, and that was ignored by me because I felt like I had nothing to bring to anyone else.
And now someone I find attractive finds me the same, at least i think so, and I'm an old and moldy man, I'm 42, I know some shit. I clearly forgot the heart is stupid. I also feel like I did the right thing by explaining the situation.
Strangely enough, this is a small part of the complexity.