HOOOO BOY, cousoci.
hoo. boy.
quick history on me: I haven't been in a relationship in about 18 years. I did have one date 12 years ago.
I spent time with a woman today, and it was nice.
I think I feel like she finds me attractive, which is something I find completely baffling, still.
ASIDE FROM THAT EVERYTHING ELSE ABOUT THIS IS EXTREMELY COMPLEX AND HELD TOGETHER BY DELICATE SILKEN STRANDS.
oh gosh, so complex.
btw I find her super attractive so that put a lil feather in my self-esteem cap. also our brains were clearly hewn from the same vein of ore, even down to the ADHD XD
I needed someone to shame me by being present to clean my room, and not only was there no shame/judgment, but there was kind encouragement and adorable accepting of gifts of things I had no use for that was still useful to nuts like us! XD
She wore a shirt of mine, and it was cute :)
@ellesu It's so weird because the complexity is such that I don't even think a simplification would be "good" or "proper".... there are a lot of emotions at play here, from a lot of people. a simplification would mean a lot of weird stuff would happen XD
I am her friend, and she mine, and I've known her entire family before her, funnily enough.
I feel like I've self-inserted myself into their family oddly enough! it's so weird in that sense!
I said something else before, but it didn't fit.
Yikes! The complications life can throw at us.
It sound like you're being cautions and thoughtful as you consider moving ahead and that's a good thing. I wish the best outcome for you all.
@ellesu thank you.
she consumes my every thought, and I blame that on integrated biological imperatives, but there is much more than physicality.
I miss feeling like this, which sounds weird to miss feeling unrequited desire XD that's how 18 years of silence do!
Your words are like poetry!
It's healthy that you can remain aware of and express what's at stake while experiencing the thrill of an evolving relationship. 🤞 for you both as this unfolds.
@ellesu I feel like my vocabulary just feels like a size randomly, so I'll have more at my disposal at some times rather than others 🤣
<3 thank you for your kind words.
@bcp
Yes! Here's hoping the complex parts simplify and the delicate parts become stronger. 🤞