First major holiday without my Dad. First major holiday without BOTH my parents.

I'm driving the struggle bus. Bummed. Sad. I don't want to go to my in-laws tomorrow, but if I say that to husband, it'll be a fight and he and the kids will go without me. He'd rather show up for them (can't let them down!) and be absent for me. "I'm fine." I'll tell everyone, as I find a quiet place to hide, until he decides he's ready to leave.

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@Evereigh Grief is a long torture - add a holiday on top of it, and it can be even worse. Hang in there and do things to honor those you have lost - that helped me get through some terrible loss. It's hard to just skip this whole series of holidays. Take care.

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