Avoiding the bar bathroom until the guy you know is going to talk to you leaves

Buying a Monster Girl ebook on the wrong account. Embarrassing.

Have a slice of cutie pie.

Her name's Fig.

Bitch I might.

🎶It's me
Hi
I'm the pervert, it's me🎶

Someone thinks I have Temu money. I don't have Temu money!

Beau is Afraid has ruined testicles for me

Two minute's into The Pope's Exorcist: "Satan fell for the oldest trick in the book. What a dummy."

People can proclaim that glasses aren't necessary. Meanwhile I introduce myself to someone and I'm already fact-checking.

Girl wobble it and Imma gobble it

abcdefu is a unique song to make a wedding version of.
It's really good though.

She wen on my di til I go

Sassin' on my squatch

She's got my ness loched

Baldur's Gate isn't just unabashedly horny, it also makes you cry?!

You want $350 to inspect my attic but then not repair it?

No thanks, I can do that myself for free.

Angrily throwing positive tests at him
"Got pregnant! Got pregnant! Got pregnant!"

If I'm on a reality show where my relationship and faithfulness is tested; I don't care if I meet my other half or one true love, you are not DRAGGING that admission out of me on a national stage

This is a good, relatable shirt.
(Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu
/The Dangers in My Heart)

What is this shirt?
(Tomo-Chan is a Girl)

I like the forest more than I like the beach.

But the beach has bikinis.

What I'm saying is the forest needs more swimsuits.

"You must have a dick made of gold."
"Diamond, actually. I'm trying to get funding for a lab that grows diamonds so I can sell replicas."
"You got a weird sense of humor, man"