I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that people who admonish pessimism and cynicism always seem to be people who have never truly struggled in any real sense.

Me: *never sleeps*

Also me: Why am I so tired?

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

My potent grief and grief-based anger: LOL!

Streaming services are like, “Why the hell should we fund additional seasons of a show whose first season wasn’t watched at least 17 times by every person and large dog on the planet within 48 hours of its release in every possible timeline?!”

I think I’ve reached the point at which I either need to dramatically reduce my creative output or unflinchingly accept that I will never achieve even the slightest measure of creative success.

New comic! Wherein Cord declares his love for the silver screen.

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Figures I’d be at a loss for ALF jokes the very week it became cool to make ALF jokes.

I can’t imagine I will ever forget my mom attempting to explain to my aunt that the Tiny Toons were neither the Looney Tunes as children nor the children of the Looney Tunes.

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Me - a superstitious idiot with an OCD-riddled brain - heading into Friday the 13th.

If I'd helped with Trump's debate prep, you better believe I'd have him mention Unhappily Ever After.

"At the beginning of the series, the Malloys owned THREE dogs, but by the fourth season, they were down to ZERO! How does this happen?! Explain it to me!"

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"I just don't understand why anyone would choose to be sad."

"How much time ya got?"

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