Is it possible to build a supervillain persona around purchasing two successive boxes of blueberry toaster waffles and discovering that both boxes actually contain plain toaster waffles?

Keeping track of which stupid jokes I've posted on which stupid platforms is getting kinda stupid.

In honor of National Cat Day, please enjoy this stupid thing I drew in 2017.

What my posts lack in coherency and entertainment value, they make up for in reasonably solid punctuation.

Fell asleep in the middle of composing a post, and I can't decide whether this is a sign of dedication or an immensely boring post.

My phone and beard trimmer are locked in a heated competition to determine which one can charge the slowest.

Shocked to discover that “Everything Everywhere All At Once” was NOT, in fact, a movie about my stress levels.

If you’re looking to gain some insight into my allergy situation, just imagine having the worst cold of your life in perpetuity.

Thinking about going to sleep just to get a break from my allergies.

My latest comic. Wherein Cord practices humility. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

Social media has all but eliminated the need to disguise oneself as a waiter, bellhop, doorman, or cab driver to keep tabs on crushes.

Social media has spoken. The season formerly known as “summer” shall henceforth be referred to as “those three or four months where people constantly wish it were Halloween for some reason.”

Me: I don’t think good things will ever happen to me again.

Also me: When will good things start happening to me again?

New comic! Wherein Cord and Sock observe the highest of holidays. #Comic #ComicStrip #Comedy

To give you an idea of how much this year has sucked for me, I now consider any day I don't find a rent increase notice in my mailbox a banger fucking day.

Feelin’ like one of those “broken Twitter days,” or as I’ve increasingly come to know them, “days.”

And here it is - the single most '90s headline ever.
https://kotaku.com/mortal-kombat-mk11-khleo-thomas-holes-cosplay-movies-1850696161

Sure, I'm upset over the decimation of Twitter, but I'm not "pretend to be emotionally impacted by the loss of the bird logo" upset over the decimation of Twitter.

Can I take part in Tweetless Tuesday without being expected to embrace Skeetless Saturday, Threadless Thursday, or Whatever-Mastodon-Posts-Are-Called-less Monday?

Can't decide whether superhuman endurance is enabling me to withstand intense levels of stress or an utter lack of endurance is preventing me from withstanding normal levels of stress.