Checking to see if there are any other #GenX out there dealing with #eldercare and possible #dementia
Dad of my heart (FIL) my 2nd Mom (MiL) have both had a lot going on, and now my #1 Mom is also having some issues. Sis and I are worried about dementia beginnings.
Sis has no clue on elder care stuff so I guess the silver lining to the in-laws situation is I know what to do now for Mom. Step 1: get her referral to neurologist going.
Step 2: Go wherever it leads and make the best of it
@StarlightEmber yes I am. Currently live with my elderly mom (90) who is slowing down with health issues. Having gone through this with my step father I would look into getting POA on both health and finances. Make sure to get a list of what is paid and how (my step father had a nightmare set up with his accounts and when alzheimer's came it didnโt make it any easier). Spreadsheets help.
Carefully, and I cannot stress this enough: vet every caregiver. We went though 5 until we found a good one.
@StarlightEmber The other thing is, in the event of an elder becoming incapacitated or if they die getting the name of the people who are listed in the will/trust put on the bank accounts before this happens is so important.
My mother was listed as the beneficiary to step fatherโs bank accounts in the trust. However she was not listed on his accounts at the bank. His accounts paid the household accounts. The bank didnโt care that she was listed in the trust. They froze his accounts and we had
@StarlightEmber to go to court to get them to open the accounts again. Absolute nightmare for my mom who just lost her husband of 31 years. The bank didnโt care. Iโve never forgiven Kinecta federal for their heartlessness (he had been a customer of theirs for 40 years).
We had so much to learn when step father got sick in 2019.
The best step you have taken is a visit to a neurologist. My mom was in denial so long that step father didnโt get a diagnosis until a year before he died.
@Redskye572 Oh my goodness how awful to have to do that while grieving. Sending huge hugs to you all
And thank you
@StarlightEmber
If power of attorney needs to be done, or if assets need to be transferred, now is the time to do it, before her cognition declines enough to render any decisions void. A good attorney, knowing about senior, inheritance, and tax issues, would be a good place to start.