Me: is my good underwear in the wash?

Wife: why do you need your good underwear? Got a hot date I should know about?

Me: the dermatologist is taking a mole off my butt tomorrow.

Wife: so you need good underwear? You trying to impress her?

Me: I'm not wearing the leopard print ones, I'm just looking for clean ones without holes.

Kiddo: when can I start seeing a therapist?



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