I think we should apply the “doth protest too much” theory to mundane things.

There is no way Gary hates mushrooms that much. I bet he’s ashamed to admit he loves them.

I guess I know where I’m taking my wife for date night.

the most unrealistic thing about Star Wars movies imo is that at no point did they ever leave the house for an adventure only to realize that one of the droids is at like 13% battery level

*Credit to @Ygrene on the bird app

It’s 38 outside. I wonder how long I can leave the heat off before my family revolts.
I think 62 is the perfect sleeping temperature.

I've always loved potatoes. Apparently they love me back ❤️
#cooking

My wife is wearing a fancy hat and telling me how to do the yard work.
She’s a highly decorated lawn enforcement officer.
#dadjokes #cosojokes

Inspired by: https://counter.social/@Lovepurr/109319648264190237

Ceviche tacos. I always overfill them.

#cooking #foodporn

Breaking news: Guy Fieri has been re-elected Mayor of Flavortown!

I get social security sex.
Just a little each month, but not enough to live on.
#dadjokes #cosojokes

Please vote today even if you think it won’t count.

.

G,Morning CoSo!
To keep fit, I’ve taken up quiet tennis. It’s like regular tennis, but without the racquet.
#dadjokes #cosojokes

The fact that some people can't distinguish between etymology and entomology bugs me in ways I can't put into words.
#dadjokes #cosojokes